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Modern Wisdom
#908 - Dr Shannon Curry - What Traits Should You Look For In A Partner?
Feb 27, 2025
Dr. Shannon Curry is a clinical psychologist, researcher, and speaker focused on relationships. She discusses the crucial traits to seek in a partner, such as conscientiousness and flexibility, while warning about red flags like neuroticism. The conversation touches on how connection outweighs compatibility and the significance of communication. Curry also delves into the psychological need to 'fix' partners and the dynamics of self-esteem in relationships. She offers strategies for emotional recovery and highlights the impact of counseling on healthier relationships.
01:21:37
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Quick takeaways
- Successful relationships thrive on managing imperfections rather than striving for flawless compatibility, recognizing that every partner has faults.
- Three key traits for lasting partnerships include conscientiousness, flexibility, and moderate adventurousness, each significantly impacting relationship satisfaction.
Deep dives
Understanding Marriage as a Trade-off
Marriage requires recognizing that every partner has faults, leading to the notion that choosing someone is essentially selecting which shortcomings one can accept. This perspective allows couples to shift their views on discomfort in relationships; it's not about finding someone perfect but about managing the imperfections they bring. For example, the desire for a partner who expresses affection in deep ways may lead one to choose a companion who is emotionally distant but entertaining, illustrating how switching partners often leads to a different set of familiar discomforts. A successful relationship is built on tolerance for these imperfections rather than a pursuit of flawless compatibility.
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Discover
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