Ted Lowe // How Changing Your Thoughts Can Change Your Marriage
Jun 26, 2023
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Marriage expert, Ted Lowe, talks about high maintenance vs low maintenance marriages. He discusses the power of thoughts in shaping relationships and emphasizes the importance of changing thought patterns for a healthy and empathetic marriage. The speakers also highlight the significance of gratitude and appreciation in relationships.
Practicing empathy in marriage enables couples to connect deeply and create a safe space for emotional understanding.
Changing negative self-talk and embracing a positive self-perception can positively impact marriages by fostering confidence and security.
Deep dives
The Importance of Empathy in Marriage
Empathy plays a crucial role in marriages, as it allows couples to connect on a deeper level and understand each other's emotions. Research shows that couples who are madly in love after years of marriage have higher levels of activity in the brain region responsible for empathy. Practicing empathy in marriage involves listening and validating your partner's emotions without trying to fix or dismiss them. It requires stepping into their emotional puddle rather than pulling them out of it. By cultivating empathy, couples can create a safe and understanding space for each other, fostering a stronger bond.
The Power of Positive Thoughts About Yourself
Understanding and reshaping the way you think about yourself can have a significant impact on your marriage. Many people struggle with negative self-talk, which affects their presence and their ability to love their spouse fully. By naming and disempowering the inner critic, individuals can separate themselves from negative thoughts. One practical exercise is to write down these negative thoughts, categorize them, and then respond with affirming truths based on scripture or personal beliefs. By embracing a positive self-perception and seeing themselves as beloved children of God, individuals can bring a sense of confidence and security into their marriages.
The Purpose of Marriage: Reflecting the Love of Jesus
Understanding the purpose of marriage is crucial for building a strong foundation. The purpose of marriage is to reflect the sacrificial love of Jesus. Couples are called to love each other as Jesus loves them, unconditionally and selflessly. This means prioritizing the needs of your spouse above your own and practicing mutual submission. By focusing on reflecting the love of Jesus, couples can create a partnership built on grace, forgiveness, and unwavering commitment. The purpose of marriage is not to achieve fairness or personal satisfaction, but to cultivate a love that mirrors Christ's love for his people.
The Power of Loving First
A key principle in marriage is embracing a mindset of loving first. Instead of trying to keep score and focus on fairness, couples are encouraged to lead with love and empathy. Choosing to love first means prioritizing your spouse's needs and emotions, even when it feels challenging or unfair. This mindset of selflessness and putting the well-being of your spouse before your own can transform the dynamics of a relationship. It breaks the cycle of entitlement and leads to a deeper sense of connection, understanding, and fulfillment in the marriage.
On this episode of the Trueface Podcast, Robby is with Ted Lowe! Ted has been married since 1995, and he and his wife have four busy kids, whom he serves as Uber drivers and sometimes parents.
He believes that marriage is simpler than most people think and that you can be better at it than you ever imagined. Ted is a speaker, author, resource creator, and proud member of the Family First staff. At Family First, they are on a mission to help families love well. Before joining in 2023, Ted held several positions, including Director of Marriage Strategies at Orange in Cumming, GA, Director of Married Life at North Point Community Church in Alpharetta, GA, and Youth Pastor at Saddleback Community Church in Lake Forest, CA. During his time at Saddleback, Ted graduated from Fuller Theological Seminary. Ted is the author of multiple books which can be purchased anywhere books are sold!
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