This week’s episode is our last with single mother of three Salimah. After three sessions focusing on each one of her children, today Leslie turns the attention to Salimah and the many roles that she plays. Let’s face it, being a parent is hard. It’s important for parents to supply themselves with an anti-burnout toolkit while also giving themselves grace. In addition to learning to reduce and prevent burnout, Leslie and Salimah also talk candidly about how to advocate for yourself, how to ask for help, and how to get the support and validation you need from your community (and not just from your kids).

Time Stamps

• 6:47 “Kiss your brain” an expression of compassion when you are trying to be kind to yourself
• 8:50 Parents should give themselves grace
• 13:51 Braided hair analogy: the separate strands represent each child and you are them, woven together
• 17:18 Correcting other people when they get your name wrong - why that can be so hard
• 26:23 Praise vs feedback
• Tool box for burnout:
  • 10:43 Lowering expectations
  • 14:45 Get in touch with your values and beliefs
  • 21:07 Punctuate your life with pauses and taking breaks
  • 25:14 & 30:45 Get someone to acknowledge how hard you work
  • 26:56 Give yourself credit for effort
  • 28:00 Keep your head down and stay present
  • 33:30 & 36:39 Learn to ask for help
  • 34:31 Random acts of kindness
• 37:39 When asking for help: How do you make sure you’re not over-asking?
  • 38:04 Collect data - get the facts and ask yourself, am I really asking excessively?
  • 38:34 Is there any reciprocity? Identify the relationship and ask is what you’re asking for fair from this type of relationship
  • 39:12 Give them permission to say “no” when you go for the ask and tell them you have other options
• 40:51 Its ok to talk to strangers

Links:  

• Newsletter: Punctuate Your Life
• Newsletter: How to ask for help
• Handout on a practice of Self-Compassion called RAIN by Tara Brach. 
• Video of the Weaving Braid metaphor

Leslie-ism: Ask for help because you deserve to get it

For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie’s work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.

Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, , Mia Warren, Camila Salazar and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Public relations is handled by AJ Moultrie. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O’Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.