Episode 212 - The War of the Triple Alliance Part 3: Send in the Canoes!
Jun 13, 2022
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In a wild exploration of the War of the Triple Alliance, the hosts discuss the absurdity of Solano Lopez's ill-fated suicide canoes. They hilariously recount General Robles getting lost during an invasion and connect it to managing a fast-food restaurant. Personal anecdotes from quirky Pennsylvania and Kentucky add humor, alongside tales of chaotic naval blunders and the grim realities of war. The gripping final moments of a defiant leader facing execution serve as a darkly comedic highlight, painting a vivid picture of chaos and poor decision-making in history.
The podcast humorously contrasts personal health anecdotes with the grave realities of the War of the Triple Alliance, highlighting the absurdity of war.
It illustrates the significant operational challenges faced by Paraguay, particularly under General Robles, whose disorganization led to severe military setbacks.
The discussion emphasizes the moral degradation within the Paraguayan army, driven by starvation and harsh leadership, leading to desperate survival tactics.
Deep dives
Joe and Liam's Health Concerns
The podcast opens with a humorous exchange between Joe and Liam about Joe's potential health issues, specifically a ball hernia. This light-hearted banter shifts to Joe sharing previous experiences of thinking he had serious ailments, only for them to come true, such as COVID-19. They joke about traditional remedies for hernias that Joe recalls from childhood, highlighting a story about his father's experience with an umbilical hernia. The conversation sets a comedic tone, illustrating their camaraderie while delving into personal health humor.
The War of the Triple Alliance Begins
The discussion transitions to the central topic of the War of the Triple Alliance, focusing on Paraguay's military efforts against Brazil. The narrative emphasizes the chaotic leadership within Paraguay's military, particularly the confusion surrounding General Robles, who got lost during a military operation. Despite ordering an invasion, coordination issues lead him to raid towns independently, causing further complications. These early missteps illustrate the operational difficulties faced by Paraguay as it struggled against its more organized adversaries.
Paraguayan Miscalculations
As the podcast unpacks the escalation of the conflict, it highlights the consequences of drastic leadership mistakes, particularly Solano Lopez’s harsh treatment of his generals and soldiers. Robles, after deviating from orders, faces severe repercussions and is executed under suspicious charges of treason. The narrative details Robles’ dramatic end, emphasizing the peril of failing to adhere to Lopez's commands, ultimately contributing to the breakdown of military discipline and morale. This incident sets a precedent for the disastrous command structure that plagues Paraguayan forces throughout the war.
The Desperation of Warfare
The podcast also addresses the dire conditions of the Paraguayan army as they attempt to navigate the struggles of maintaining supply lines and troop morale during the war. As the troops become increasingly depleted, the narrative describes how a lack of provisions forces them into morally questionable tactics, such as looting and relying on ineffective supply routes. The environment plays a significant role in exacerbating their plight, pushing soldiers towards the brink of starvation and disease. This grim situation adds layers to the human cost of the war and the motivations behind Paraguay's sustained conflict.
Tactics and Terrible Outcomes
The hosts describe the Paraguayan strategy of guerrilla warfare and the ensuing Battle of Tuyuti, marking a pivot in military tactics as they faced overwhelming odds. Despite being outnumbered, Paraguayan soldiers show remarkable discipline and morale in the face of chaotic command and dire consequences. The grim depiction of the battlefield showcases the brutality of the conflict, with high casualties leading to even more humorous reporting from Lopez. This ironic twist highlights the disconnect between the horrific reality of war and the propaganda efforts to maintain a façade of success, reflecting the absurdity of the situation.
Part 3/5
Suicide canoes, it turned out, would not be the wonder weapon Solano Lopez thought they would be.
Support the show:
https://www.patreon.com/lionsledbydonkeys
Produced by Nate Bethea and Sarah Sahim
Sources:
Leuchars, Chris. To the Bitter End: Paraguay and the War of the Triple Alliance
Kolinski, Charles. Independence or Death: The story of the Paraguayan War
Whigham, Thomas L. The Road to Armageddon: Paraguay versus the Triple Alliance, 1866–70.
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