A Little Bit Culty The Guru Wears Prada: Sofia May on Surviving Tibetan Buddhism at Tara Mandala (Part 2)
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Feb 12, 2026 Sofia May, comedian and former assistant at Tara Mandala who exposed misconduct there, shares raw memories of spiritual abuse and recovery. She recounts how reverence, hierarchy, and manipulation mixed in retreat life. The conversation covers tailored coercion, hazing, gaslighting, and the turning point that led her to leave. She also discusses healing through therapy and comedy and why discernment matters in spiritual communities.
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Therapy Used As Performance Control
- After asking about Soltrum's dating life, Sofia was iced out and told she was 'too unstable' for the role, then pressured into therapy with a staff psychologist.
- That therapist mixed job criticism into sessions and told Sofia she was 'really bad at your job', blurring therapy and performance review.
Graded Praise And Relentless On-Call Labor
- Sofia described working dawn-to-midnight without breaks, always on call to anticipate Soltrum's needs and avoid tantrums.
- She said praise inflated trivial tasks while accomplishments were downplayed, eroding her self-worth but increasing her obedience.
Competence Revealed The Game
- Sofia realized abuse continued even after she became clearly competent, which removed the excuse of incompetence.
- That cognitive dissonance cracked her devotion and started her disillusionment.
