Calm Parenting Podcast Kids Who Appear Lazy, Blame Others, Won’t Accept Responsibility, Pick On Siblings, Act Aggressively? 5 Ways To Help Over Holidays. #547
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Dec 24, 2025 Explore why some kids appear lazy or aggressive—often, it's a reflection of low confidence rather than defiance. Discover how comparisons and parental expectations can harm children's self-esteem. Learn the power of renaming and reframing their identity to foster motivation. Hear tips on highlighting kids' strengths and involving them in meaningful tasks to boost their confidence and combat negative behaviors. With these strategies, you can help transform the holiday season into a time of growth and connection.
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Behaviors Often Mask Confidence Issues
- Many behaviors like laziness, blaming, and aggression often stem from low confidence and internal motivation, not willful misbehavior.
- Kirk Martin argues addressing root causes (confidence, motivation) changes behavior more effectively than punishment.
Let Go Of Your Agenda
- Stop imposing your agenda and listen to your child to reduce resistance and shame.
- Kirk Martin advises grieving expectations, releasing control, and accepting their different path to build trust.
Reframe Identity With Positive Labels
- Change the narrative by renaming and affirming your child's strengths to reshape identity and motivation.
- Use specific praise and short notes to plant a vision of who they can become.