The School of Greatness

782 Sex and Love, Lust and Infidelity with Wednesday Martin

Apr 10, 2019

In this episode, the guest, Wednesday Martin, discusses female sexuality and satisfaction, debunking myths and providing insights. Topics include exploring infidelity, challenging misconceptions, teaching sex education to kids, the science of female sexuality, women's self-observation during sex, the monogamy continuum, sexual satisfaction, and 'Untrue' book implications.

01:25:27

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Episode guests

Wednesday Martin

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Quick takeaways

Open communication and exploration within the monogamy spectrum leads to better relationship satisfaction.

Recognize that a drop in sexual desire over time is natural and counteract it through open communication, new experiences, and separateness within the relationship.

Alternative relationship paths like consensual non-monogamy provide variety and novelty, but require open communication, self-awareness, and navigation of challenges like jealousy and ego.

Deep dives

Monogamy as a Continuum

Monogamy can be seen as a continuum, rather than a rigid concept. People have different beliefs and preferences when it comes to monogamy, and understanding this can lead to better relationship satisfaction. It is important to have open conversations and explore different options within the monogamy spectrum.

Introduction

2min

Exploring Infidelity: Why Women Cheat

3min

Challenging Misconceptions and Stereotypes of Female and Male Sexuality and Infidelity

14min

Teaching Sex Education and Self-Worth to Kids

2min

The Science of Female Sexuality and the Natural Decrease in Sexual Desire

27min

Exploring Women's Sexuality and Self-Observation

2min

Exploring the Monogamy Continuum

16min

Sexual Satisfaction and Relationship Happiness

17min

Rethinking Women, Lust, and Infidelity with 'Untrue'

3min

IT'S TIME TO PUT THESE SEX MYTHS TO BED.
Having a healthy sexual relationship is important.
But it’s not something we often talk about.
Women’s satisfaction especially seems to take a back seat.
So how can women get what they need in the bedroom?
As men, we can ask questions.
See what your partner is into.
And understanding the science behind why women like the things they do are helpful, too.
The truth is a lot of what we believe about female sexuality is wrong. We all benefit when women’s sexuality takes the forefront and is better understood.
On today’s episode of The School of Greatness, I talk about female satisfaction with an incredible woman who wrote a book on the subject: Wednesday Martin.
Wednesday Martin is a feminist cultural critic, New York Times Bestselling author, and social researcher. Wednesday has written on topics including gender, parenting and motherhood, popular culture, and female sexuality for The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Daily Beast, and Harper's Bazaar, among others. She was a regular contributor to The Daily Telegraph, the online edition of Psychology Today, and the parenting pages at the New York Post. Wednesday has appeared on the Today Show, Good Morning America, CNN, NPR, NBC News, the BBC Newshour, and Fox News as a step/parenting expert.
Wednesday says that we should avoid “service sex” where you’re only performing to make your partner happy. You need to know that your needs deserve to be met, too, and they can be with a little work from both partners.
So get ready to learn about the science of monogamy and how to keep your relationship exciting on Episode 782.
Some Questions I Ask:
Why do women cheat? (6:00)
Why is non-monogamy looked down upon in the world? (14:00)
What made you interested in this topic in the first place? (24:00)
How can a man increase sexual desire in a woman? (39:00)
How do you handle your research in your personal relationship? (1:05:00)
How important is sex in a relationship? (1:09:00)
In This Episode You Will Learn:
How economics plays into who cheats (10:00)
Why long term relationships are harder for women (27:00)
Tools for bringing back arousal in your long term relationship (37:00)
How your attachment style affects your sexual relationship (1:00:00)
About the “orgasm gap” (1:11:00)