In this engaging discussion, Wednesday Martin, a feminist cultural critic and bestselling author, dives deep into the intricacies of female sexuality and relationship dynamics. She challenges stereotypes around women’s infidelity and emphasizes the need for better sexual education. Martin advocates for understanding women’s desires and the importance of communication in intimate relationships. She explores the spectrum of monogamy, the complexities of love and lust, and encourages a rethinking of traditional views on women's satisfaction and partnership.
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insights INSIGHT
Why Women Cheat
Women cheat for similar reasons as men, including opportunity and desire.
The belief that women cheat only for emotional reasons is untrue, just like the oversimplified notion of men cheating solely for sexual reasons.
insights INSIGHT
Monogamy's Stigma and Plow Agriculture
Monogamy's stigma for women stems from potential domestic violence risks and economic dependence on men.
The historical shift to plow agriculture led to a gendered division of labor, limiting women's autonomy.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Sex Education for Kids
Teach children about sex openly and honestly using correct terms.
Fill in the educational gaps left by abstinence-only sex education in schools.
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The New Monogamy offers a path for couples to heal after infidelity by creating an explicit relationship agreement. This approach allows partners to openly discuss their desires, expectations, and limitations, fostering honesty and trust. The book includes tools like questionnaires and Imago dialogues to help couples regain romance and intimacy, offering a chance for a new beginning in their relationship.
Untrue
Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust, and Infidelity Is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free
Wednesday Martin
In 'Untrue', Wednesday Martin explores the evolutionary legacy and social realities that drive female faithlessness. The book blends accessible social science and interviews with sex researchers, anthropologists, and real women to challenge deep-seated assumptions about monogamy and female sexuality. Martin argues that female sexual autonomy is a key metric of gender equality and presents data suggesting women may struggle more than men with sexual exclusivity. The book aims to change the way readers think about women and sex by debunking popular myths and presenting a more nuanced understanding of female infidelity.
IT'S TIME TO PUT THESE SEX MYTHS TO BED.
Having a healthy sexual relationship is important.
But it’s not something we often talk about.
Women’s satisfaction especially seems to take a back seat.
So how can women get what they need in the bedroom?
As men, we can ask questions.
See what your partner is into.
And understanding the science behind why women like the things they do are helpful, too.
The truth is a lot of what we believe about female sexuality is wrong. We all benefit when women’s sexuality takes the forefront and is better understood.
On today’s episode of The School of Greatness, I talk about female satisfaction with an incredible woman who wrote a book on the subject: Wednesday Martin.
Wednesday Martin is a feminist cultural critic, New York Times Bestselling author, and social researcher. Wednesday has written on topics including gender, parenting and motherhood, popular culture, and female sexuality for The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Daily Beast, and Harper's Bazaar, among others. She was a regular contributor to The Daily Telegraph, the online edition of Psychology Today, and the parenting pages at the New York Post. Wednesday has appeared on the Today Show, Good Morning America, CNN, NPR, NBC News, the BBC Newshour, and Fox News as a step/parenting expert.
Wednesday says that we should avoid “service sex” where you’re only performing to make your partner happy. You need to know that your needs deserve to be met, too, and they can be with a little work from both partners.
So get ready to learn about the science of monogamy and how to keep your relationship exciting on Episode 782.
Some Questions I Ask:
Why do women cheat? (6:00)
Why is non-monogamy looked down upon in the world? (14:00)
What made you interested in this topic in the first place? (24:00)
How can a man increase sexual desire in a woman? (39:00)
How do you handle your research in your personal relationship? (1:05:00)
How important is sex in a relationship? (1:09:00)
In This Episode You Will Learn:
How economics plays into who cheats (10:00)
Why long term relationships are harder for women (27:00)
Tools for bringing back arousal in your long term relationship (37:00)
How your attachment style affects your sexual relationship (1:00:00)
About the “orgasm gap” (1:11:00)
The School of Greatness 
