Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson Limerence: The Psychology of Romantic Obsession with Brandy Wyant
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Aug 25, 2025 Brandy Wyant, a licensed clinical social worker and expert in limerence, joins the discussion on the intense, often one-sided obsession that accompanies this state. She shares insights on how limerence differs from love and casual crushes, and the role of uncertainty in fueling such feelings. The conversation delves into cognitive behavioral strategies for managing obsessive thoughts and emphasizes the importance of self-awareness. They also address the impact of limerence on relationships and the challenges in research and treatment.
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What Limerence Really Is
- Limerence is involuntary, persistent, and often unwanted obsessive thinking about another person.
- The core driver is uncertainty about reciprocal feelings rather than simple attraction.
Uncertainty Fuels Limerence
- Uncertainty fuels limerence while hope sustains it, distinguishing it from OCD where uncertainty is feared.
- If feelings were reciprocated, the idealization often dissolves into ordinary relationship reality.
Therapist's Personal Experience
- Brandy contrasted limerence with crushes and described living with near-constant background thoughts and replaying interactions.
- She reported clinically significant impairment such as inability to focus and compulsive behaviors like scanning messages.
