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Optimal Relationships Daily - Dating, Marriage & Parenting
2217: Is Holding a Grudge a Rational Thing To Do? by Keith Wilson of Keith Wilson Counseling on Anger & Emotional Healing
Jun 23, 2024
12:03
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Therapist Keith Wilson delves into the rationality of holding grudges, highlighting the balance between justice and mercy in relationships. He discusses the importance of trustworthiness and the value of showing mercy over seeking retribution.
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Quick takeaways
- Holding a grudge can be rational when rooted in broken trust, but showing mercy and valuing relationships often outweigh anger.
- Consider factors beyond anger, like seeking greater goods and recognizing fallibility, when deciding whether to continue holding a grudge.
Deep dives
The Rationality of Holding Grudges
Holding a grudge can be considered rational in certain circumstances, according to Keith Wilson. While many argue that grudges are irrational and harmful, Wilson points out that anger stemming from injustice can serve as a valuable signal. He acknowledges that anger can lead to negative outcomes but suggests holding onto it long enough to address the harm done, then setting it aside before further damage is caused.
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