KQED's Forum

When Is It OK to Ghost?

14 snips
Nov 14, 2025
Dominic Pettman, a media professor and ghosting expert, and Lizzie Post, co-president of The Emily Post Institute and etiquette authority, delve into the complexities of ghosting. They discuss how modern technology has made ghosting more common and socially acceptable, despite its emotional toll. The conversation highlights the lack of closure ghosting creates, the rise of ghosting in professional settings, and the importance of empathy for those who may ghost unintentionally. Safety concerns and the nuances of digital relationships also emerge, making for a thought-provoking dialogue.
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INSIGHT

Ghosting Is A Product Of Our Mediascape

  • Digital communication invents new forms of disappearance like ghosting alongside texting itself.
  • Dominic Pettman argues platforms change the valence of absence and make disengagement easier and more common.
INSIGHT

No Closure Makes Ghosts Loom Larger

  • Absence without explanation can magnify the ghoster's presence in the ghosted person's mind.
  • Dominic Pettman notes lack of closure makes the absent person loom larger psychologically.
ANECDOTE

Third Date Vanishes; Late Apology

  • A caller described being ghosted on a third date when the woman left to feed a meter and never returned.
  • He got an apology text from Britain two and a half years later but said it didn't heal the wound.
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