Why Toddlers Won't Share and What We Can Do

A parent writes that for the past few weeks her son’s 3-year-old playmate will not share his toys. He cries, “That’s mine… he can’t play with it,” tries to take the toys back, and often has meltdowns. While she says her boy doesn’t seem particularly fazed by the behavior, the other boy’s mother is distressed and confused about expectations she should set about sharing toys at home. The writer says: “For my part, I’d begun to feel a bit protective for my son, while at the same time understanding that possessiveness is common and expected in children their age.” Since these two boys have been playing together exclusively during the pandemic, the parents want their interactions to be positive. Both parents are anxious to know what’s appropriate in terms of limits, expectations. and interventions and would like Janet’s advice.

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