Someone asked,
"As the higher drive spouse in my marriage I do most of the initiating and hear “no” pretty frequently. Some no’s feel a lot more like a rejection than others. This is usually when they are accompanied by “we just had sex 4 days ago, you’re insatiable,” “you just have a one-track mind,” “you should just take care of things yourself,” “maybe if you had done [insert chore or criticism] I would have said yes,” “you don’t need sex, you just want it,” “maybe sometime later (typically with a vague date, often a week or more in the future),” or “what is wrong with you?”
"I understand that often the answer is going to be “no” because she just isn’t in the mood, or the circumstances aren’t right, or she has her period, or there is some other barrier and this is just the way things are, but I wonder if at least the process/communication could be improved. Is there any chance you would be able to do a post on what best practice in saying “no” would look like in order to minimize the associated hurt and feelings of rejection to one’s spouse?"
Here's the answer!
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The Dr. Psych Mom Show
with clinical psychologist
Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten