EP 262: New Year, Same Eating Disorder? The One Emotion That Will Actually Get You Out of ED Hell

Let me guess. It's a new year, and you're supposed to feel motivated. Excited. Ready for a fresh start.

But instead? You just feel tired. Tired of being tired. Tired of trying. Tired of feeling like you're starting over AGAIN with your eating disorder recovery.

Everywhere you look, you're being bombarded with "new year, new you" messages. Detoxes. Transformation challenges. Fresh starts. Clean slates. And if you're in ED recovery, you know exactly what that pressure feels like—and how triggering it is.

Here's what I need you to hear: A calendar flipping to January 1st doesn't magically fix anything. But there IS one emotion that will actually get you out of ED hell. And it's probably not what you think.

In this raw, no-BS episode, I'm getting provocative, confrontational, and real with you about the power of frustration—and why being absolutely sick and tired of yourself and your eating disorder might be the best thing that could happen to your recovery.

This isn't your typical "be kind to yourself" recovery talk. This is me calling you out with love, getting you MAD, and helping you channel that anger into the fuel you need to actually change.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• Why "new year, new you" is toxic garbage (especially in ED recovery)
• The ONE emotion that will actually get you out of ED hell (hint: it's frustration)
• Why feeling "sick of yourself" isn't weakness—it's readiness
• My personal story of how I had to get ANGRY with myself to finally stop playing games with recovery
• What your eating disorder has actually taken from you over the years (and how many more years you're going to let it take)
• 3 powerful action steps to channel your frustration: plate-throwing, journaling prompts, and the anger letter
• The raw, unfiltered reality of what recovery actually takes (no sugarcoating)
• Why you need to stop negotiating with your ED and start getting pissed off enough to do something different

If you're done playing victim to your own story. If you're sick of half-assing your recovery. If you're ready to get FRUSTRATED enough to finally take action—this episode is for you.

Let's go. 🔥

KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

💛 "It won't be a new year that brings anything new or better into your life. It will be YOU. And specifically, it will be you getting so absolutely frustrated, so fed up, so DONE with spending one more day entrenched in ED-ville that you finally say, 'Enough.'"

💛 "That frustration? That's not weakness. That's readiness. Frustration is your body and your soul screaming at you, 'WE ARE DONE WITH THIS.'"

💛 "I got sick of myself. Sick of my own BS. Sick of wasting time pretending I was recovering when I was really just maintaining my eating disorder with a smile on my face. I had to get angry to change."

💛 "What has the eating disorder taken from you? Not just this year. But over the YEARS. How many holidays has it ruined? How many relationships has it cost you? How much energy have you wasted? How many dreams have you put on hold?"

💛 "The eating disorder will take as much as you let it. And it will keep taking until you decide you're not giving it anything else."

💛 "You don't need a new year to change your life. You need to get so sick of yourself and your eating disorder that you finally decide enough is enough."

💛 "Recovery is not a 'new year, new you' situation. It's not a 30-day challenge. It's not a quick fix. It's not pretty. It's not Instagram-worthy. And it's definitely not easy."

THE TRUTH ABOUT "NEW YEAR, NEW YOU"

Let's call it what it is: the "new year, new you" message is toxic garbage. Especially in diet culture. Especially for women. And ESPECIALLY for women in eating disorder recovery.

Right now, you're being sold the lie that January 1st is some magical portal where everything changes. You're seeing:

• Detox teas
• Meal plans
• Fitness challenges
• Before-and-after pictures
• "Fresh start" messaging everywhere

For someone in recovery? That's a minefield.

The eating disorder LOVES a fresh start. It loves rules. It loves restrictions. It loves the promise of control disguised as "health" and "wellness."

But here's the truth: It won't be a new year that brings change. It will be YOU getting so frustrated that you refuse to spend one more day living like this.

WHY FRUSTRATION IS YOUR FUEL ( NOT A PROBLEM)

You're frustrated that:

• You're still here, still struggling, still stuck
• Another year has passed and you're not where you thought you'd be
• Recovery feels so hard
• You're missing out on life because you're too wrapped up in food, body, and control

Here's what you need to hear: That frustration is not weakness. That's READINESS.

Frustration is your body and soul screaming, "WE ARE DONE WITH THIS." It's the part of you that knows you were made for more. It's the part that's sick of the lies, sick of the exhaustion, sick of playing small.

When you tap into that frustration—when you really let yourself FEEL how angry you are about what this eating disorder has taken from you—that becomes your fuel. That becomes the fire that drives you to actually change.

MY STORY: THE MOMENT I GOT ANGRY ENOUGH TO CHANGE

I was in treatment. I had a treatment team. I had a meal plan. My goal for that year was to gain 40 pounds. FORTY. And I knew that. I agreed to it. I said I was all in.

But I was lying. To them. To myself. To God.

I was pushing off meals. I was "cheating" on my treatment team. I was still counting calories in my head even though I knew better. I was doing the bare minimum and calling it recovery. I was playing the game without actually playing to win.

And one day, I just caught myself. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "Who even are you? What are you doing? You KNOW what you need to do. You KNOW what recovery requires. And you're still choosing this?"

I got angry. Not at my body. Not at food. At MYSELF. At my junk. At my excuses. At my half-hearted effort.

I got sick of myself. Sick of my own BS. Sick of wasting time pretending I was recovering when I was really just maintaining my eating disorder with a smile on my face.

THAT was the turning point. Not a new year. Not a motivational quote. Just me, getting so absolutely fed up that I finally decided to stop playing games.

I had to get angry to change. And sis, so do you.

WHAT HAS YOUR EATING DISORDER TAKEN FROM YOU?

It's time to get uncomfortable. I need you to actually sit with this. I need you to get honest. I need you to get FRUSTRATED.

What has the eating disorder taken from you over the YEARS?

❌ How many holidays has it ruined?
❌ How many family gatherings did you obsess over food instead of enjoying people?
❌ How many birthdays did you skip because you couldn't handle the cake?
❌ How many vacations did you ruin because you were too busy calculating, controlling, restricting?
❌ How many relationships has it cost you?
❌ How many friendships have you lost because you isolated yourself?
❌ How many moments with your kids did you miss because you were too exhausted, too distracted, too consumed?
❌ How much MONEY have you spent? (Diet programs, gym memberships, doctors, treatment, trying to "fix" yourself)
❌ How much ENERGY have you wasted? (Hours thinking about food, obsessing over your body, planning meals, beating yourself up)
❌ How many DREAMS have you put on hold? (The career, the trip, the LIFE you wanted—all sitting on the back burner)

And how many more years are you going to let it take?

3 POWERFUL EXERCISES TO CHANNEL YOUR FRUSTRATION

Don't just sit in the frustration. USE it. Channel it. Let it fuel you into action.

EXERCISE 1: The Plate-Throwing Exercise (Optional but Therapeutic)

If you need a physical release—go to a thrift store. Buy some cheap plates. Take them somewhere safe (garage, backyard). And throw them. Smash them. Let out every ounce of anger you have at this eating disorder. Let out every bit of frustration at yourself for staying stuck.

(Be safe. Wear shoes. Don't hurt yourself. But let yourself FEEL the rage.)

EXERCISE 2: The "What ED Has Taken" Journal Prompts

Get a journal and answer these:

✍️ How many holidays has my eating disorder ruined?
✍️ How many relationships has it cost me?
✍️ How many moments with my kids/family/friends have I missed?
✍️ How much money have I spent trying to fix this while refusing to fully commit?
✍️ How much energy have I wasted obsessing over food and my body?
✍️ What dreams have I put on hold because the ED convinced me I wasn't ready?
✍️ What does my life look like in 5 years if I stay here?
✍️ What does my life look like in 5 years if I ACTUALLY recover?

Write it all out. Don't hold back. Let yourself see the cost. Let yourself get MAD.

EXERCISE 3: The Anger Letter

Write a letter to your eating disorder. Tell it exactly what you think. Tell it what it's stolen from you. Tell it that you're done. That you're not doing this anymore. That you're taking your life back.

Then? Burn it. Rip it up. Throw it away. Symbolically release it.

THE RAW REALITY: WHAT RECOVERY ACTUALLY TAKES

Hope is beautiful. But you also need to know what this is going to require.

Recovery is NOT: ❌ A "new year, new you" situation
❌ A 30-day challenge
❌ A quick fix
❌ Pretty or Instagram-worthy
❌ Easy

Here's what recovery ACTUALLY takes:

✅ Showing up when you don't feel like it
✅ Eating the meal even when the ED voice is screaming at you not to
✅ Sitting with discomfort without numbing it
✅ Asking for help when you'd rather isolate
✅ Being honest with your treatment team even when you're ashamed
✅ Gaining weight if that's what your body needs (yes, I said it)
✅ Letting go of control, perfectionism, and the idea you can do this halfway
✅ CONSISTENCY—day after day after day, even when it's boring or hard
✅ Getting so frustrated that you stop negotiating with the ED, stop bargaining, stop playing games

The eating disorder will take as much as you let it. It will keep taking until YOU decide you're not giving it anything else.

READY TO STOP PLAYING GAMES? WORK WITH ME IN 2026

If you're sitting here thinking, "Yes, Lindsey, I'm done. I'm so done. I need help and I need it now"—then take action TODAY.

💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE

My group coaching community where you'll get the support, accountability, and sisterhood you need to actually do this. No more doing it alone. No more pretending you've got it figured out. Just real women doing real recovery work together.

Join us here: www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 

💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING

If you're ready to go ALL in, if you need deep transformational support, if you want someone in your corner who's going to call you out on your BS and remind you who you are when the ED gets loud—let's work together.

I'm not here to coddle you. I'm here to help you get FREE.

👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and fill out a client application.

Let's make 2026 the year you stop playing games and start actually recovering.

Connect with Lindsey:

🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms

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Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.

Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.

*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.