Spiraling Higher 92. Julie Menanno: Healing The Anxious-Avoidant Relationship Cycle
Our most highly anticipated guest from last year finally accepted our DM request to come on the pod and de-mystify the most common (and stressful) relational dynamic: ANXIOUS + AVOIDANT.
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If you have ever been in a relationship, or supported someone in one, then you KNOW how distressing it is to deal with feeling like your partner doesn't care about your feelings OR as if their feelings are TOO MUCH. Unfortunately, these two types of people often attract each other...and without proper awareness or the development of regulation skills, these two people will harm each other over and over until there is no longer a sense of closeness or intimacy anymore.
What's sad about this dynamic is that both people DO care, and ultimately desire closeness, but what actions make each of them feel emotionally safe in the relationship are different. Learning the difference between these needs, their origins, and how to appreciate them without self-abandoning is the key to creating a healthier dynamic that can repair fully after typical ruptures, which even secure attached couples experience!
Whether you're familiar with attachment theory already or not, this conversation reveals the secret ingredient for creating secure attachment and is going to help you identify which attachment style you may have AND how to heal it instead of projecting your needs and insecurities onto your partner. No matter if you identify as anxious, avoidant, disorganized...there are tools for you to become a safer, secure person for yourself AND as a partner in a relationship.
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