I Could Never... Jellyamorous
Oct 23, 2025
Join Loren Loubser, a ballroom performer and intimacy coordinator from Cape Town, as she dives into fascinating discussions about the queer scene in South Africa. She shares her journey from a 14-year monogamous relationship to embracing polyamory, revealing insights on jealousy and the importance of transparency in relationships. Loren also touches on the dynamics of navigating exes in close-knit communities and the healing process after betrayal. Tune in for an enlightening take on community care and the complexities of love and friendship.
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From Long Monogamy To Messy Polyamory
- Loren describes transitioning from a 14-year mostly monogamous relationship into polyamory after cheating and a breakup.
- They explain early secrecy and bad habits that they later had to unlearn in new relationships.
Test Boundaries, Don't Chase Perfection
- Do distinguish rules from boundaries and test what works for your relationships rather than copying presets.
- Try iterative adjustments after bumps instead of aiming for a perfect polyamory model immediately.
Privilege Shapes Queer Relationship Dynamics
- Loren highlights how racial identity and privilege shape access and reception in queer relationships in South Africa.
- They note this creates uneven dynamics and personal trauma responses around masculinity and dating choices.