S2E2: Name it to Heal it, Getting It Together, Disordered Desire, and Real Change Takes Time

Oct 14, 2025

This discussion dives into the journey of personal growth and spiritual maturity, highlighting pivotal moments that shape identity. The hosts reflect on the power of naming one's experiences and how it fosters healing and clarity in parenting. They explore the intersection of marriage and sanctification, emphasizing how mentors can illuminate hidden callings. Practical steps for getting life together include prayer, community, and therapy, illustrating that real change takes time and care.

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ADVICE

Ask Trusted People To Name Your Gifts

Find trusted people who know and love you and ask them honestly what gifts and callings they see in you.
Let others name strengths you can't see and test their feedback over time in community.

ANECDOTE

Married Young, Forced To Grow Up

Brook married at 21 and intentionally chose to 'grow up together' with his wife, then became a father at 23.
Early vocational responsibility and mentorship forced rapid maturation and shaped his path to leadership.

INSIGHT

Stages Overlap — Expect Messy Growth

Getting your life together and giving it away overlap; stages of maturity are not strictly linear.
You will often be learning to give while still growing, so expect overlap and repeated formation.

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This week, we continue last week’s conversation about getting your life together, digging into pivotal moments from young adulthood that shaped the course of our lives. In season two, we’re exploring the three movements of spiritual maturity and fatherhood: getting your life together, giving your life away, and giving your death away, sharing practical stories and real-life examples of how these stages unfold.

From career shifts and breakups to marriage and parenthood, we reflect on seasons where God reordered our desires and called us to clarity in identity and vocation. Drawing on passages like Peter walking on water and Psalm 37, we talk about stepping out in faith, asking God to guide our hearts, and trusting Him to realign what we long for.

We also examine the importance of naming — our experiences, struggles, and hopes — and how accountability, therapy, and intentional reflection help us process and grow. Real change takes time, and getting our lives together often means healing from the past. By tending the “garden” of our lives, leaning on community, and inviting God into the process, we can get our lives together from the ground up — in order for us to eventually give them away.

Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: February 19-21, 2026 in Costa Mesa, CA

Family Age Chart PDF Download

Scripture Mentioned: Matthew 14:22-33, Psalm 37:4, Ephesians 5:22-33, Ecclesiastes 1:9, Proverbs 29:18, Genesis 2:19-20

Books Mentioned: The Body Teaches the Soul by Justin Whitmel Earley, The Call by Os Guinness, The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller, Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans, Domestic Monastery by Ronald Rolheiser, The Holy Longing by Ronald Rolheiser, Sacred Fire by Ronald Rolheiser, Wrestling with God by Ronald Rolheiser, and Prayer by Ronald Rolheiser

Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalfatherhood.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.