EP125: Are Decisions Really Just a Peek Behind the Curtain of Thought?
Dec 7, 2020
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Explore the nature of decisions and their connection to habitual thinking patterns. Examine the distorted perception of decision-making and how our mind often takes credit for decisions that were already possible. Reflect on how beliefs and perceptions are shaped by experiences and societal expectations. Embrace curiosity and wonder to move beyond decision making and open ourselves up to new opportunities. Also, discuss holiday stress and announce a special bonus for a coaching training program.
Our decisions are not solely determined by individuals, but also by the thoughts and possibilities that present themselves.
Instead of actively deciding, it becomes about realizing what is already available and waiting to be discovered.
Deep dives
Decisions as a Peek behind the Curtain of Thought
When we talk about making a decision, it's possible that we're actually getting a glimpse into our habitual thinking. The state of not knowing, when faced with a decision, is simply a result of a lot of thoughts swirling around, evaluating various options. We tend to believe that we actively decide, but there are always factors preceding our apparent decision-making, like the thoughts that arise and the conditions that align to make a choice clear. We often attribute our decisions to external reasoning or logic, but scientific evidence suggests that the reasons we give are not always accurate. In reality, decisions may be more about realizing what is already possible and available to us. Rather than feeling the pressure of deciding, it can be liberating to recognize that everything is already there, obscured only by our clouded thinking.
The Influence of Family Stories and Choices
Family stories, experiences, and beliefs can shape our perceptions of what is possible and influence the choices we make. For instance, the speaker shares an example of how women in her family competed to tell the most painful childbirth story, creating a narrative that being a woman meant hardship. However, as the speaker grew older, she questioned this narrative and decided not to participate in that game. She realized that she had the power to choose a different path and have a different experience. The decision to break free from the family narrative and choose a different perspective highlights the idea that choices are not solely determined by individuals, but also by the thoughts and possibilities that present themselves.
Realization Rather than Active Decision-Making
The speaker challenges the notion of being the decision-maker by pointing out that we don't create the thoughts that guide our choices; they appear in our experience. Our decisions are not solely based on individual agency, but are influenced by the thoughts that arise and the momentum they create. The focus shifts from feeling the burden of deciding to recognizing that the process is already in motion. Instead of actively deciding, it becomes about realizing what is already available and waiting to be discovered. This shift allows us to approach life with curiosity, embracing the mystery and wonder of the unfolding possibilities, rather than trying to control and manage every decision.
Do we “make” decisions? Or is it possible that we realize them? That instead of us being the doer behind a decision, what’s really happening is we’re catching a glimpse of what’s always already available to us beyond the curtain of thought?I’ll discuss some decisions I once felt like I “made”, but now I wonder
