Outsmarting Narcissists: The Praise or Provoke Trap
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Jun 3, 2025
Ever felt like you're talking to a wall? This discussion dives into how to handle interactions with narcissistic personalities without losing your cool. It reveals the cyclical nature of their manipulative behavior and introduces practical strategies for effective communication. Learn about the 'praise or provoke' dynamic, and discover how to respond calmly while involving others in conversations. By understanding these tactics, you'll protect your peace and navigate the challenges of dealing with difficult individuals more effectively.
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Understanding the Praise or Provoke Game
Conversations with narcissists are a rigged game called "praise or provoke."
They seek control by either basking in praise or provoking conflict when ignored.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Use Neutral Statements
Use short, flat, neutral responses like "noted" or "okay" when talking to narcissists.
These statements prevent them from twisting your words or provoking emotion.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Limit Interaction Time
Keep interactions with narcissists short and limit time spent engaging.
Avoid emotional conversations as they cannot process empathy or accountability.
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From communication expert Jefferson Fisher, this book provides immediately actionable strategies and phrases to transform your life and relationships by improving your communication. Fisher, a trial lawyer and leading voice on real-world communication, offers a tried-and-true three-part communication system (Say it with control, Say it with confidence, Say it to connect) that can be applied to any situation. The book teaches how to assert yourself, set boundaries, frame conversations, and overcome conflict with connection, ensuring that your every word has a positive impact on your relationships.
Ever feel like you’re talking to a wall when dealing with someone who just won’t take accountability? You might be dealing with a narcissist—or at least someone showing strong narcissistic behaviors. In this episode, I break down exactly how to talk to those people without losing your cool, your confidence, or your sanity. Whether this person is your boss, your sibling, or your partner—you’ll walk away from this episode knowing exactly how to protect your peace when things get heated.
This episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 40% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out.
The Jefferson Fisher Podcast 