Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Choosing the Roles We Play in Life

Nov 14, 2022

01:09:02

Snipd AI

Explore the impact of roles we play in relationships, setting boundaries, and avoiding unhealthy systems. Learn about the hazards of one-sided friendships, enacting familiar roles, and navigating role dynamics. Understand the concepts of triangulation, splitting, and narcissism in relationships. Discover practical tips for establishing boundaries and deep listening in interactions.

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Quick takeaways

Recognize and navigate impromptu helping roles carefully to maintain healthy boundaries.

Distinguish between offering emotional support and assuming responsibility for others' conditions to avoid crossing professional boundaries.

Maintain objectivity and clear boundaries to prevent becoming emotionally enmeshed in others' issues.

Deep dives

Recognizing Unhealthy Helping Roles

Being pulled into an impromptu helping role with friends and family is common. However, it can become uncomfortable or one-sided. Examples include acting as an impromptu therapist for a friend's unhealthy relationship. It is important to recognize and navigate these situations carefully to maintain healthy boundaries.

Intro

2min

Exploring Boundaries in Therapeutic Friendships and Power Dynamics

3min

Maintaining Boundaries and Professional Roles in Therapy

16min

Understanding Enactments and Triangulation in Psychology

8min

Exploring Splitting Behavior and Role Dynamics

4min

Narcissism and Dehumanization in Relationships

3min

Exploring Triangulation in Relationships

9min

Navigating Supportive Relationships and Establishing Boundaries

24min

If you’re the kind of person who listens to mental health podcasts, you’re more likely than average to get pulled into an impromptu “helping role” with your family and friends. Sometimes we seek out these roles, but they can also be uncomfortable or one-sided. And sometimes we get stuck playing a role for someone else that we never wanted in the first place.

On this episode of Being Well, Forrest and Dr. Rick use this situation as a way in to exploring the various roles we play in life, and the profound impact those often unconscious roles have on us. They talk about relationship models, how we select our roles, how familiar roles can keep us trapped in old patterns, enactments and triangulation, and how we can exit unhealthy systems.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:50: The hazards of accidentally becoming a friend’s therapist

6:45: Objectivity, professionalism, and not needing to be liked

11:00: The roles we take on and how they shape us

16:45: Why we choose certain roles, and being crippled by our strengths

21:00: Enactments

25:15: Splitting

30:10: When someone else pushes you into a role

35:10: Triangulation

48:10: Deep listening and a lesson from Carl Rogers

51:10: Practical tips for drawing boundaries in your roles with others

59:40: Recap

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