Justified Resentment: When AA Goes Culty with April McLean

Alcoholics Anonymous has become a household name. You’ve probably heard of the 12 steps, sponsors, and sobriety chips. At its best, AA can be life-changing. But in some chapters, things can take a darker turn, and when they do, there’s no centralized structure to step in.

In this episode, we’re talking with April McLean—a blogger and former member of AA who found herself deep in a high-control group that looked a lot like a cult. April bravely walks us through her journey across three different AA groups, where love bombing, spiritual shaming, and manipulation were passed off as “tough love.” What started as a path to recovery became a minefield of emotional abuse, gaslighting, and coercive control.

We explore what happens when sponsors exploit their position of power, how AA’s decentralized model leaves members vulnerable, and why it’s so important to listen to your gut when something feels off, even in a space that’s supposed to help you heal.

Trigger warning for addiction and alcohol abuse.

Note: We’re not here to bash AA as a whole—it’s helped a lot of people. But as April’s story shows, it’s possible for helpful frameworks to become harmful when the wrong people are in charge. If you’re struggling with substance abuse or any mental health crisis, please call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. And if you're feeling trapped in a culty or coercive environment, visit our resource page for support.

To read more of April’s story, check out her blog: substack.com/@aprilmclean

Also… let it be known that:

The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Nobody’s mad at you, just don’t be a culty fuckwad.

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CREDITS: 

Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames

Production Partner: Amphibian.Media

Writer & Co-Creator: Jess Tardy

Associate producers: Amanda Zaremba and Matt Stroud of Amphibian.Media  

Audio production: Red Caiman Studios

Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin