Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled Fighting Is Playing (Let the Kids Work It Out)
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Aug 19, 2025 The podcast dives into the chaotic yet essential world of sibling conflict, highlighting how these confrontations offer key developmental lessons. Parents share their struggles with managing disputes, emphasizing the importance of letting kids work things out themselves. Unstructured play emerges as a pivotal theme, proving vital for social and emotional growth. The benefits of unsupervised play are explored, encouraging parents to step back and trust their kids to navigate their own interactions. It's a refreshing take on fostering independence and resilience in children.
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Intervene Calmly And Reflect Feelings
- When entering a conflict, block dangerous actions calmly and avoid taking immediate sides or re-litigating the event.
- Reflect feelings briefly (e.g., "That hurt your feelings") and avoid long interrogations about who did what.
Parent Triggers Distort Conflict Response
- Parents' triggers often replay their childhood sibling dynamics and distort responses to fights.
- Recognizing those triggers helps parents separate their history from what children actually need in conflict moments.
Free Play Builds Democratic Skills
- Free play teaches nuanced social skills (repair, turn-taking, self-governance) through repeated, low-stakes interactions.
- Adult involvement often reduces play's developmental benefits by making it less child-directed.
