Meredith for Real: the curious introvert Ep. 315: Is Asexuality an Orientation or a Symptom?
What happens when attraction never shows up? Why does this label matter?
Tony Bogaert, PhD, is the professor of health sciences at Brock University in Ontario, Canada where he has taught & conducted research for the last 30 years, primarily in the area of human sexuality. He’s also the author of Understanding Asexuality.
In this episode, you’ll learn the difference between asexuality & sexual aversion disorder, celibacy & autism as well as how someone might be asexual, but also be married with children. We talk about asexual pop culture icons, historical figures & evolution.
If you like this episode, you’ll also like episode 121: PROFESSIONAL CUDDLER? HUGGING, HORMONES & BODY AUTONOMY
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00:00 — What if your “thing” is no thing?
01:00 — Game show kickoff: “What’s the Difference?”
01:30 — Asexuality vs. celibacy
02:00 — Midlife disinterest or lifelong orientation?
02:30 — Hyposexual desire disorder explained
04:00 — Asexuality vs. sexual aversion
05:00 — Asexuality and autism spectrum overlap
06:00 — Sheldon Cooper: autism or asexual icon?
07:00 — What causes lack of sexual attraction?
08:30 — Personal motivation behind his research
09:00 — How a survey question sparked 30 years of study
11:00 — Why sexuality takes up so much mental space
12:00 — Why labels drive us crazy—and why we need them
15:00 — “Gray” and “demi”—the asexual spectrum
16:00 — Are we overlabeling, or just being human?
17:00 — Why demisexuality finally clicked for Meredith
20:00 — Love route vs. lust route: two paths to attraction
21:00 — Romantic but not sexual—how that works
24:00 — The sexual recession vs. true asexuality
25:00 — What’s really behind declining sex rates
26:00 — How researchers untangle the gray areas
27:00 — Can people “overclaim” the asexual label?
28:00 — Why some asexuals still masturbate
29:00 — “Cleaning out the plumbing” — other reasons for solo sex
30:00 — Historical roots: early accounts of asexuality
32:00 — Sherlock Holmes and the “asexual aura”
33:00 — Virgin Mary as cultural symbol of purity
34:00 — Eunuchs, testosterone, and the myth of distraction
35:00 — Do asexuals have a focus advantage?
36:00 — Evolutionary puzzles: how does asexuality persist?
40:00 — Is sex really necessary for health?
41:00 — Connection without sex: what it looks like
42:00 — The flowchart of asexuality—how to self-reflect
45:00 — His book Understanding Asexuality and what’s next
46:00 — Sex makes us do crazy things—his next book topic
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