What's the Big Idea with Andrew Horn 58. John Wineland: The Art of Sacred Intimacy
How do we turn love and intimacy into a living practice, one that transforms how we lead, connect, and show up in our romantic relationships?
On this episode of What’s the Big Idea, Andrew sits down with John Wineland, celebrated teacher, author, and guide to all things relationship, intimacy, and embodied masculine leadership. John is known for his transformative workshops and years of study with David Deida, as well as for helping thousands of people move past cliché ideas about intimacy toward something much deeper, kinder, and truly life-changing.
If you are curious about sacred intimacy, tantra, or what it means to lead from the heart, John brings these sometimes mystified topics down to earth. He clarifies that sacred intimacy isn’t a fixed state , but the practice of allowing the divine - love, consciousness, presence, to flow through your relationships. Drawing on stories from his own journey and decades working with men, women, and couples, John shares a toolkit for both cultivating connection and facing its challenges.
Here’s what you’ll take away from this conversation:
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The Four Pillars of Sacred Intimacy: John introduces the central framework that has guided his work: intimacy (our shared humanity), devotion to the field of love, sexual polarity (understanding and honoring difference), and the commitment to deep personal work. Each is a cornerstone, and together they become the supports for a relationship not just to survive, but to thrive.
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Making Love Safe and Alive with Ritual and Repair: Learn how simple weekly rituals like “temple nights” or structured praise sessions can shift a partnership from transactional to transformational. The episode outlines approaches for regular check-ins and explains why honest repair work is foundational to trust and emotional safety.
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Nervous System Mastery for Modern Life: For men in particular, John goes deep on the value of cultivating embodied presence, emotional regulation, and clear intention. These are the building blocks not only of romantic connection, but also of authentic leadership and executive presence. You’ll hear concrete practices around structure, breath, and nervous system co-regulation.
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Practical Intimacy Habits Anyone Can Try: From co-breathing with your partner, to establishing rituals of praise and play, to crisp strategies for moving through the storms of conflict, John offers tools that you can start using today.
Why does this matter now? In an era of chronic busyness, digital distraction, and surface-level connection, our ability to create depth and safety in our most important relationships is a fundamental skill.
Listen in for a conversation that’s both wise and immediately useful, blending frameworks, real stories, and the kind of honest reminders we all need.