Optimal Relationships Daily - Dating, Marriage and Parenting

2004: The 5 Things We're All Fighting For in Marriage by Dr. Kelly Flanagan on Emotional Needs in Marriage

Dec 20, 2023

Dr. Kelly Flanagan, a psychologist specializing in marriage and emotional needs, discusses the essence of marriage and the five core emotional needs that play a crucial role in marital dynamics and personal fulfillment. He encourages creating a loving and supportive relationship based on individual needs rather than replicating our parents' marriage.

10:04

Episode guests

Kelly Flanagan

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Quick takeaways

Emotional needs from childhood shape expectations in marriage and need fulfillment should be prioritized.

Connectedness, priority, affirmation, equality, and freedom are the core emotional needs for a successful marriage.

Deep dives

The Power of Emotional Needs in Marriage

In this podcast episode, Dr. Kelly Flanagan explores the concept of emotional needs in marriage. Drawing an analogy from a child's fear of bees, he highlights how our emotional experiences in childhood shape our expectations and needs in our own relationships. He emphasizes that observing our parents' healthy marriages may not be as impactful as the emotional wounds we carry from childhood. Dr. Flanagan identifies five core emotional needs necessary for a successful marriage: connectedness, priority, affirmation, equality, and freedom.

The Emotional Impact of Parental Relationships on Marriage

01:23

Introduction

5min

The Five Core Emotional Needs in Marriage

4min

Encountering Unexpected Connections on Dating Apps and Exploring Unspoken Needs in Relationships

3min

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com.

Episode 2004:

Dr. Kelly Flanagan delves into the essence of marriage, highlighting five core emotional needs: Connectedness, Priority, Affirmation, Equality, and Freedom. These needs, often shaped by our childhood experiences and unspoken wounds, play a crucial role in marital dynamics and personal fulfillment.

Read along with the original article(s) here: https://drkellyflanagan.com/the-5-things-were-all-fighting-for-in-marriage/

Quotes to ponder:

"The great question of marriage is not: how can I act—or not act—like my parents did in their marriage? The great question is this: what emotional needs did my parents leave me with as a child, and how am I trying to get those needs met in my marriage today?"

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