In this enlightening discussion, Vern explores the crucial link between marriage dynamics and recovery progress. He introduces concepts like emotional filters that can cloud communication and highlights the importance of recognizing bids for attention. The conversation dives into hidden expectations, childhood influences, and unfulfilled dreams that contribute to relationship gridlock. Vern encourages open dialogue about fears and stresses the benefits of therapy for surfacing these issues, ultimately guiding listeners to improve their marriages while on the path to recovery.
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insights INSIGHT
Marriage And Recovery Are Connected
Recovery and marriage are distinct but linked and influence each other in daily life.
Reducing marital stress can lower temptation for escape behaviors like porn use.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Name The Filter When You're Off
Recognize when you have an emotional "filter" on from a rough day and tell your partner about it.
Communicate the filter so your spouse can give allowances instead of taking things personally.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Turn Toward Bids For Connection
Notice and respond to your partner's bids for attention instead of turning them down.
Turn toward small bids (pause TV, ask questions) to prevent emotional withdrawal and parallel lives.
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In this third and final episode of Marriage Hacks - Vern explores some of the ways to explore why you hit a wall on certain topics with you partner as well as the idea of recognizing when you have a filter on that you need to communicate with your spouse. Your marriage is not your recovery but working towards a better marriage can help in reducing the stress and friction in your daily life that often leads you to want to act our or use escape behaviors.
If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link to get started. if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)
If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.
If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com
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Finding Traction: Recovery from Porn