Finding Traction: Recovery from Porn

We had so much fun last time I thought we would do it again.  Actually I realized there was a number of marriage tips and hacks that didn't make the last episode so I thought we would do a part 2!  Heres to having a great marriage relationship!If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com

Relationships can be hard work - especially maintaining a marriage over the long haul.  In this episode Vern shares 5 marriage hacks that can make that challenge be a little bit easier!If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com

What should I tell my girlfriend about my porn history (or other sexual history).  Should I hide it?  What if honesty will end the relationship?  In this episode I talk about why it is important to be honest but also nuance when and how this could be done.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comIn the episode I reference a Pure Desire article on how to talk with your boyfriend about porn.  The following is the link to this article:https://puredesire.org/blog/how-to-ask-about-porn-use-while-dating/I also make reference to a great organization that offers counsellors to give women the support they may need to navigate their feelings and decisions around their partners porn use.Here is the link to that organizationhttps://apsats.org/

So how did your summer go?  Vern has been away for the last month and shares somes up and downs from his summer holidays including a recovery lesson that he is working at integrating into his life.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com

It's fun to talk to people outside your circles who dont' necessarily share your experience or assumptions.  The following is a conversation I did with Jeremy Longpre from the North Star Podcast around men's health and problematic porn use.The following is a link to the North Star Podcasthttps://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/north-star-podcast/id1660393769If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comIf you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com

Back in Episode 73 I introduced the idea of the Acting Out Cycle using the picture of a Stopwatch.  In looking back I felt I could give a more robust explanation of how to actually stop ourselves from just repeating the same cycle over and over.  To do this I add a new step - PREEMPT - and share from some of my recent examples how to put this into practice.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com

It is not uncommon in our early recovery to feel anxious that a next relapse is just around the corner.  Is there a way to grow in our confidence as we start out on this journey?If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com

One of the reasons we are unsuccessful long term in porn recovery is because of some of the ways of thinking we practice.  One problematic thing that guys tell themselves is that "they are good" or 'they are strong" which is experientially true at the time. The probem is that we are good (until we are not!)If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com

What is the difference between real sex and our porn binges?  The differences might explain why some people confess that real sex is hard and less exciting than our porn world.  In this episode Vern explores that uncomfortable question and how we can grow towards real intimacy with a real person.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com

What if positive feelings toward your wife were a powerful motivator to move away from porn.  In this episode Vern builds on a recent book he read called  "Cherish" by Gary Thomas.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com