Finding Traction: Recovery from Porn

It's fun to talk to people outside your circles who dont' necessarily share your experience or assumptions.  The following is a conversation I did with Jeremy Longpre from the North Star Podcast around men's health and problematic porn use.The following is a link to the North Star Podcasthttps://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/north-star-podcast/id1660393769If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comIf you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com

Back in Episode 73 I introduced the idea of the Acting Out Cycle using the picture of a Stopwatch.  In looking back I felt I could give a more robust explanation of how to actually stop ourselves from just repeating the same cycle over and over.  To do this I add a new step - PREEMPT - and share from some of my recent examples how to put this into practice.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com

It is not uncommon in our early recovery to feel anxious that a next relapse is just around the corner.  Is there a way to grow in our confidence as we start out on this journey?If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com

One of the reasons we are unsuccessful long term in porn recovery is because of some of the ways of thinking we practice.  One problematic thing that guys tell themselves is that "they are good" or 'they are strong" which is experientially true at the time. The probem is that we are good (until we are not!)If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com

What is the difference between real sex and our porn binges?  The differences might explain why some people confess that real sex is hard and less exciting than our porn world.  In this episode Vern explores that uncomfortable question and how we can grow towards real intimacy with a real person.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com

What if positive feelings toward your wife were a powerful motivator to move away from porn.  In this episode Vern builds on a recent book he read called  "Cherish" by Gary Thomas.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com

Country songs are known for their - "if only I knew then what I know now" regret songs.In this episode we ask a sobering question - is the door to your marriage closing and share a principle that Vern has practiced and taught for 40 years.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com

Tim Fletcher, a YouTube expert on trauma and attachment, shares his insights into the roots of porn addiction. The conversation highlights how childhood emotional needs can lead to addiction as a coping mechanism. Fletcher discusses the critical difference between complex and simple trauma, revealing how ongoing danger affects emotional safety. The importance of healthy relationships in recovery is emphasized, advocating for emotional connection as a key to healing. Listeners are encouraged to foster genuine connections and self-care in their recovery journeys.

When porn use is disclosed (or found out)  in a relationships it often comes with a thudding crash.  In this episode expert Barbara Steffens talks through the impact this can have on a woman and steps that both men and women can take in their navigating a path forward.What can we learn from a relapse?  In this episode one of Vern's coaching clients bravely shares what he learned from a recent relapse in the hopes that it can also be instructive to other listeners.  The song at the end can be downloaded in the circle learning platform below...If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com

What can we learn from a relapse?  In this episode one of Vern's coaching clients bravely shares what he learned from a recent relapse in the hopes that it can also be instructive to other listeners.  The song at the end can be downloaded in the circle learning platform below...If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.This is how sign up for the free circle learning resources Vern has to offer.  If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users.  The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404