Why Comparison Kills Momentum and How to Stop Living for Others and Start Living for Your Future Self

Dec 1, 2025

Hal Hershfield, a UCLA marketing professor and expert in future-self connection, dives into the pitfalls of comparison that can derail our goals. He emphasizes the importance of intrapersonal comparisons over social ones for motivation. Hal also introduces strategies like using others' experiences to guide your path and setting flexible goals to maintain momentum. Discover practical tools such as writing to your future self and visual reminders to keep you focused on long-term success while avoiding the 'what the hell' effect.

Ask episode

AI Snips

Chapters

Books

Transcript

Episode notes

INSIGHT

Comparison Hides Others' Headwinds

Social comparison often kills progress because we only see others' outcomes, not their obstacles.
Hal Hershfield warns that seeing others way above the mean can demotivate and cause people to give up.

ANECDOTE

Men's Group Creates Realistic Possibility

Dhru describes his men's group where members celebrate wins and share struggles transparently.
Seeing a peer's authentic journey made others imagine the steps and feel the goal was possible.

INSIGHT

Tailwinds Mask The Struggle

Tailwinds make success look effortless while headwinds make our own struggles salient.
Hal says revealing both tailwinds and headwinds turns comparison into useful learning, not jealousy.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Get the app

This episode is brought to you by Branch Basics and iRestore.

We all have goals we want to achieve in life, but too often we abandon them the moment we slip into comparison. Today’s guest shows us how to break out of that trap and start making real progress toward the life we’ve always envisioned.

Today on The Dhru Purohit Show, we’re revisiting one of our most talked-about moments with Dr. Hal Hershfield. Dr. Hal breaks down the dangers of falling into the comparison trap and how it can lead to self-sabotage and defeat. Together, Dhru and Dr. Hal explore why understanding the real journey of obstacles and challenges is essential for growth. Dr. Hal also shares practical strategies for clarifying your intentions and goals, and how to apply those insights to your health and wellness journey.

Hal Hershfield is a professor of marketing, behavioral decision-making, and psychology at UCLA’s Anderson School of Management. His research sits at the intersection of psychology and economics, focusing on how to improve long-term decision-making.

He’s published in leading academic journals and has written op-eds for outlets such as The New York Times, Harvard Business Review, and The Wall Street Journal. Hal holds a PhD in psychology from Stanford, has earned multiple teaching awards, and was named one of Poets & Quants’ “40 Most Outstanding B-School Profs Under 40.” His book, Your Future Self: How to Make Tomorrow Better Today, is out now.

In this episode, Dhru and Dr. Hal dive into:

The hidden dangers of comparison and how it quietly derails your life (1:55)
Why celebrating group wins unlocks what you think is impossible (5:30)
Tailwinds, headwinds, and the surprising truth about real progress (10:45)
How to shift from “good intentions” to unshakeable commitment (15:07)
A simple method for getting radically clear on your goals (20:17)
The powerful letter-to-your-future-self exercise that exposes your real obstacles (24:06)
Final insights that tie everything together (31:13)

Also mentioned:

This episode is brought to you by Branch Basics and iRestore.

Right now, Branch Basics is offering 15% off the Premium Starter Kit; just go to branchbasics.com and use the coupon code DHRU. Transform your space, transform your health, start with Branch Basics today.

Hair loss is frustrating. Give yourself the gift of hair confidence. For a limited time, my listeners get an exclusive discount on the iRestore Elite using the link irestore.com with code DHRU.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices