The Emotionally Focused Therapy Podcast S1 Ep8: Stage 1 Tango Overview
Oct 7, 2025
Explore the transformative EFT Tango in relationship therapy. Discover how to unveil core emotional processes that drive conflict. Learn to view attachment as the root of distress, not just communication issues. Delve into the steps therapists take to help couples express vulnerability and shift their interaction patterns. Uncover the importance of repetition in fostering emotional resilience and enhancing connection. This insightful discussion dives deep into the strategies that facilitate lasting change in relationships.
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Conflict As An Attachment-Driven System
- EFT views couple conflict as a co-created, attachment-driven system rather than isolated faults.
- The tango helps therapists elicit that system and reveal underlying attachment distress guiding reactivity.
From Potatoes To World War III
- Michael Barnett recalled a couple who could go from peeling potatoes to a full-blown fight instantly.
- That example illustrated how baffling and pervasive co-created cycles can be.
Reflect Process With An Attachment Lens
- Start stage-one tango by lightly reflecting present process focused on the cycle, not every detail.
- Tune your ear to what hurts relationally and bring forward cues that signal attachment distress.