Rather than creating a happy life, people with trauma from childhood wait for the ideal relationship to come along and MAKE them happy. You may catch yourself believing that if you could JUST find the right person, or say the right thing, everything would work in your life. But when your identity isn't developed and you don't know how to be happy, your life is full of holes. This is when people with CPTSD may try to use "emotional spackle," filling in the holes by ignoring red flags and opening their hearts as IF the other person is wonderful and reciprocates their feelings. But imagining there is love where there is no love brings grave disappointment. How can you see clearly, and reserve your heart until the time -- and the person -- is right?

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