We all deserve pleasure, so why don’t cisgendered women feel entitled to it? The orgasm gap shines a light on not only why strict social norms trap both men and women in unfulfilling sex lives, but how our current sex-positive era may not deliver the sexual liberation women have been waiting for. Guardian Australia lifestyle editor and the author of All Women Want, Alyx Gorman, explains to Reged Ahmad why too many women are having mediocre sex – and what can be done to fix it