Alicia Menendez, an award-winning journalist and author of "The Likeability Trap," dives into the paradox of women's likability in the workplace. She discusses how strong women are often deemed cold, while warm women risk being seen as pushovers. The conversation highlights the emotional toll of external judgments, the importance of psychological safety, and the need for equitable feedback. Menendez shares personal anecdotes, advocating for vulnerability as a strength in leadership and encouraging women to embrace their authenticity over societal expectations.
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question_answer ANECDOTE
Alicia's Likeability Struggle
Alicia Menendez, despite outward success, struggled with insecurity at work, overthinking likability.
This led her to write "The Likeability Trap", exploring the pressure on women to modulate their behavior.
insights INSIGHT
The Goldilocks Conundrum
Women face a double bind: told to be strong but not too strong, warm but not too warm.
Even women who don't care about likability pay a price in the workplace.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Conflicting Advice
Conflicting advice about her appearance early in her career highlighted the subjectivity of feedback.
Menendez changed her hair based on one person's advice, only to be criticized by another for the change.
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In '10% Happier,' Dan Harris shares his personal journey of discovering the benefits of meditation. Initially a skeptic, Harris, a news anchor, found himself on a path of self-discovery after a nationally televised panic attack. He delves into the world of spirituality and self-help, encountering various figures including brain scientists, CEOs, and spiritual leaders. The book explores how meditation can reduce stress, improve focus, and enhance overall well-being without compromising one's ambition or edge. Harris emphasizes the importance of mindfulness in making one more resilient and better equipped to handle life's challenges, though it does not eliminate problems entirely[2][4][5].
The Likeability Trap
None
Alicia Menendez
The Five Invitations
Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully
Frank Ostasecki
Our guest this week is Alicia Menendez, an award-winning journalist, who finds herself in a common position for many women: caring way too much about what others think of her. Be nice, but not too nice. Be successful, but not too successful. Just be likeable, whatever that means. In the workplace strong women are often criticized for being cold, while warm women may be seen as pushovers. In her just released book, The Likeability Trap, and in our conversation, she discusses this issue and explains how and why both men and women should combat it. Plug Zone The Likeability Trap: https://www.amazon.com/Likeability-Trap-Break-Free-Worth/dp/0062838768 Website: http://aliciamenendez.com/ Twitter: @AliciaMenendez Instagram: @aliciamenendezxo Facebook: @AliciaMenendezTV An Evening with Joseph Goldstein and Dan Harris: Staying Sane in a Crazy World https://www.nyimc.org/event/an-evening-with-joseph-goldstein-and-dan-harris-staying-sane-in-a-crazy-world/ Episode References Psychological Safety / What Google Learned From Its Quest to Build the Perfect Team: https://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/28/magazine/what-google-learned-from-its-quest-to-build-the-perfect-team.html THE FIVE INVITATIONS: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully https://fiveinvitations.com/the-book/ WeCroak: https://www.wecroak.com/ Ten Percent Happier Podcast Insiders Feedback Group: https://10percenthappier.typeform.com/to/vHz4q4 Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail: 646-883-8326
10% Happier with Dan Harris 
