ERP 141: How To Decrease Relationship Pain and Suffering

"THE VALUE IN PAIN AND THE PAIN IN VALUE" In last weeks episode, I talked about Lode Dewulf's Ted Talk The Value in Pain and the Pain in Value, and how this relates to relationship pain.

I highly recommend watching the video. He does a great job of describing how we compound the amount of pain we experience, by adding more layers of pain.

(Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.)

In life, we area all faced with pain. Most of us work really hard at avoiding the pain. Yet, when we do not meet the pain directly, we create more suffering for ourselves. Avoiding, resisting and fighting all create additional pain and suffering. Mindfulness helps regulate the nervous system, so that we can get calm and clear headed. "Mindfulness is a mental state, which is achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while very calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations." by Lode Dewulf

THE LEARNING PROCESS The learning process involves four stages. To go to the next stage will involve a little bit of pain.

1. Unaware & Incompetent Insight 2. Aware & Incompetent Training 3. Aware & Competent Practice 4. Unaware & Competent

ACCESS YOUR FREE RELATIONSHIP MAP.

"Let us stop this obsession to avoid pain. And let us stop the illusion that life, learning, and happiness can ever be without pain. Because that awareness is the first step towards healing out of pain. " By Lode Dewulf

MENTIONED:

• Relationship Map (1 page graphic opt-in)
• ERP 140: How Pain and Suffering Increase & What to Do about It (podcast)
• The Value in Pain and the Pain in Value, by Lode Dewulf (TED Talk)
• What Does The Development Of Intimacy Look Like In Relationship? (article)