During this episode Mona and Manecia talk about a topic that may be difficult for both the autistic and non-autistic partners to hear, but is important to address, because it is something that has happened in both of their relationships (and may be happening in yours).
No one wants to feel like they have to parent their partner, however acknowledging that this may be happening and talking about ways in which the non-autistic/neurotypical partner can ask before stepping in to help (or parent) can be SO helpful. Some people might call this type of "support" co-dependency or enmeshment, however in a neurodiverse relationship, when support is valued and provided because of challenges with executive function, social and emotional differences or sensory sensitivities, it can also create a partnership that helps both partners thrive.
Mona shares that when her and her ex were talking outside the courthouse as they were planning to file for divorce, her ex said to her that she had two children, even though they only had one child. Mona's response was that she hadn't wanted to be her ex-husband's parent, she had wanted to be his partner! This conversation was both sad and enlightening at the same time.
Mona and Manecia talk openly about how important it is to let go of assumptions and the need to "help" when we haven't been asked and how sometimes our embarrassment, does not mean we need to solve a problem that is not ours to solve.
How can we stop parenting our partners, when we think they are awkward, anxious or angry and instead offer to help without "needing" to help? Mona and Manecia share the lessons they have learned on their neurodiverse journey's and hope this episode brings some "aha" moments for the listeners.
The Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards are available for purchase. If you would like to buy a deck, please check out the "Conversation Cards" page on our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
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Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay