Porn As Re-Enactment Of Sexual Abuse (with Wendell Moss)
May 17, 2021
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The podcast delves into the deep connection between unresolved trauma and the tendency to reenact past experiences, particularly in the context of sexual abuse. It explores the impact of shame, powerlessness, and self-contempt, highlighting the intricate relationship between seeking approval and grappling with inner struggles. The narrative unfolds a journey of addiction, faith, and unexpected grace, ultimately emphasizing the transformative power of embracing vulnerability and community support in the healing process.
Reenactment of trauma in porn perpetuates cycles of shame and unworthiness, hindering healing and connection to Jesus.
Childhood abuse can manifest in distorted patterns of seeking validation, leading to triggering moments of loneliness and shame.
Deep dives
Understanding Reenactment in Trauma and Shame
Reenactment, in the context of trauma, involves subconsciously repeating past events, often indicating undelt trauma. It reinforces feelings of unworthiness and powerlessness, perpetuating a cycle of shame and contempt. Reenactment hinders the process of grieving and receiving healing, blocking the connection to Jesus in deep wounds.
Impact of Childhood Abuse in Pornography Patterns
Childhood experiences of seeking validation and acceptance can lead to distorted patterns, as seen in Wendell's story of childhood abuse influencing his porn use. The longing for tenderness intertwined with shame and powerlessness translated into triggering moments of loneliness seeking care and tenderness through pornography.
Encountering Healing through Unexpected Kindness
Healing and transformation begin with unexpected encounters of kindness that challenge deeply entrenched shame and contempt. As demonstrated in Wendell's experience with a therapist, genuine care and compassion can shatter self-contempt, leading to a rediscovery of tenderness and goodness within oneself.
Embracing Vulnerability and Community in Recovery
Recovery from pornography addiction thrives on vulnerability shared in authentic community spaces. By creating safe environments where individuals can confide their struggles without judgment, healing journeys are empowered, emphasizing the significance of communal support in the path to freedom.
Why do we return to porn even though it harms us? What if we return to porn precisely because it harms us? The answer is often re-enactment. "Re-enactment (noun): the acting out of a past event." Therapist and licensed mental health counselor Wendell Moss tells the story how porn re-enacted sexual abuse from when he was a boy, and what happened when he was confronted by the fierce kindness of God.
Wendell Moss teaches at The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology and The Allender Center. Although he is privileged and delighted to work with both men and women, Wendell loves to create contexts of healing for men, especially African American men. Contact Wendell here.