Part of healing from trauma is getting to the point where you can HONESTLY take responsibility for your behaviors (and trauma can activate some harsh behavior!). But just because bad things happened to you in the past, doesn’t mean it’s OK to lash out, or cop out, or try to control other people. Blaming other people, or “parts” of yourself is only going to push the people you’ve further away. If you want good relationships with other people, you’re going to have to do the hard work of honestly facing yourself – not just the way you were hurt, but the way you hurt others –and taking steps to change.In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who wants a better relationship with her daughter, who keeps blocking contact with her.

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