Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Esther Calling - I Accidentally Dated An OnlyFans Star

24 snips
Oct 27, 2025
In this revealing conversation, a 34-year-old man shares his emotional turmoil after discovering his ex was a sex worker on OnlyFans. He grapples with feelings of grief, jealousy, and betrayal, connecting these to his unresolved pain from losing his brother. The discussion delves into self-blame, medical deceit, and the complexities of intimacy. Esther Perel guides him through recognizing how past losses influence his romantic life, underscoring the importance of self-compassion and the intricate relationships between love, desire, and vulnerability.
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ANECDOTE

Falling In Love Then Finding OnlyFans

  • The caller fell head over heels, learned later she had done OnlyFans, and felt betrayed after discovering content online.
  • He reconnected platonically without disclosing his discovery, which deepened the rupture and ended contact.
ANECDOTE

Medical Betrayal During Illness

  • The caller had a severe HSV-1 outbreak and the partner, a medical professional, cared for him but allegedly didn't disclose relevant information.
  • He perceived this omission as a serious betrayal that eroded trust in the relationship.
INSIGHT

Cracks Reveal Deeper Needs

  • Esther frames 'cracks' as the deeper needs and histories that let someone overlook warning signs in relationships.
  • She links patterns of grief and past losses to repeating misalignments with partners.
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