Psychology In Seattle Podcast Leftover 17th Anniversary Questions #3
Oct 22, 2025
Dr. Kirk tackles leftover questions on intense topics from the anniversary show. He dives into therapy approaches for borderline traits, boundary-setting with in-laws, and the complexities of relationship OCD. He discusses emotional abuse recognition and strategies for addressing self-diagnosis. Kirk shares insights into generational challenges for twenty-somethings and offers advice for mental health professionals. Plus, he muses on AI consciousness and the importance of embracing messy connections in relationships.
02:00:49
Therapy Fit For Severe Borderline Traits
- Look for therapies that combine reality-testing and corrective relational experiences for severe borderline traits.
- Use DBT for short-term skills and psychodynamic or mentalization-based work for long-term corrective change.
Force Disclosure When You Keep Holding Back
- If you avoid telling your therapist about abusive behavior, write it down or email it to force the disclosure.
- Start with less shameful topics or ask your therapist to pause you from wiggling out of the disclosure.
Normalcy Bias Shapes In-Law Dynamics
- Partners often view parents' behavior as normal because they grew up with it, making boundary dynamics complex.
- Kirk sees mutual boundary-drawing with a spouse as healthy even if outsiders judge it.
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Intro
00:00 • 33sec
Therapy Approaches for Severe Borderline Traits
00:33 • 4min
Bringing Abusive Tendencies Into Therapy
04:50 • 3min
Distancing from In-Laws and Spousal Boundaries
07:21 • 2min
Relationship OCD: Overview and Treatment
08:54 • 3min
Ad break
11:43 • 2min
Assessing Therapist Quality and Training Programs
13:39 • 7min
Responding to Self-Diagnosis Without Insulting
20:39 • 11min
Personal Rollercoaster Reactions and Phobias
31:25 • 5min
How to Support a Three-Year During a Meltdown
36:15 • 4min
Metabolism and Mental Illness Inquiry
40:22 • 25sec
Twenty-Somethings Stuck Between Youth and Adulthood
40:47 • 4min
Safety Concerns Around a Released Sex Offender Neighbor
45:13 • 3min
Is CIMBS Therapy Helpful for Attachment Trauma?
48:31 • 4min
Pets, Emotion Expression, and Encouraging Feeling Words
52:49 • 4min
Applying Psychology to Society and Advertising
56:35 • 37sec
Using Parts Work for Severe Borderline Without a Central Self
57:12 • 5min
Telling Someone They Have Narcissistic PD: Bad Idea
01:01:44 • 1min
Explaining Brain Farts and Cognitive Slips
01:02:51 • 3min
Political Anxiety and the Possibility of Autocracy
01:05:31 • 9min
Recognizing Emotional Abuse and Self-Reflection
01:14:48 • 8min
If AI Became Conscious: Initial Questions to Ask
01:23:11 • 50sec
Best Days, Hobbies, and Satisfying Work Activities
01:24:01 • 5min
One Food Forever: Why Pizza Fits
01:28:59 • 34sec
Advice for New Mental Health Professionals
01:29:33 • 3min
Current Favorite Songs and Musical Influences
01:32:14 • 2min
What Makes a Good Therapist-Client Relationship
01:33:45 • 19sec
Therapist Pressuring a Client About Sex Life: Unethical
01:34:04 • 1min
Breastfeeding, Attachment, and Medication Concerns
01:35:12 • 2min
Handling Ignorant Comments and Online Criticism
01:37:14 • 34sec
Ideal Pet Size and Favorite Pasta Dishes
01:37:48 • 2min
Signs of a Good Friend and Friendship Qualities
01:39:38 • 57sec
Marijuana Use and Mental Health: Case-by-Case Risks
01:40:35 • 1min
Licensure Misrepresentation and Coaching Concerns
01:41:54 • 1min
Carrying Family Grief and Enmeshment Challenges
01:43:21 • 2min
Challenging Professional Boundaries and Gatekeeping
01:44:57 • 40sec
Useful Therapy Modalities in Demand Today
01:45:36 • 1min
Magic the Gathering, Competition, and Cooperative Games
01:47:03 • 2min
Twin Psychology: No Supernatural Powers
01:49:05 • 2min
Knowing What to Change but Feeling Stuck
01:51:12 • 4min
Repairing Major Fights and Choosing Closeness Over Loneliness
01:55:23 • 6min
Tip for a Fulfilling Life: Embrace Messy Connection
02:01:50 • 3min
Outro
02:04:47 • 27sec
#9
• Mentioned in 376 episodes
The Lord of the Rings
J.R.R Tolkien
The Lord of the Rings, written by J.R. R.
Tolkien, is an epic high fantasy novel set in Middle-earth.
The story follows Frodo Baggins, a hobbit who inherits the One Ring from his uncle Bilbo.
The Ring, forged by Sauron, holds the power to control all other Rings of Power and must be destroyed in the fires of Mount Doom to prevent Sauron's return.
Frodo is joined by a fellowship of other characters, including Gandalf the Grey, Samwise Gamgee, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, and Boromir, as they embark on a dangerous quest across Middle-earth.
The novel explores themes of good vs.
evil, the corrupting influence of power, and the struggle between fate and free will.
#170
• Mentioned in 96 episodes
Snow Crash
Neal Stephenson
Published in 1992, 'Snow Crash' is a science fiction novel by Neal Stephenson that delves into a future where the United States has fragmented into corporate city-states and the internet has evolved into a virtual reality called the Metaverse.
The story follows Hiro Protagonist, a pizza delivery driver and part-time hacker, and Y.T.
, a teenage skateboard courier, as they navigate a complex world threatened by a mysterious computer virus and a powerful drug known as Snow Crash.
The novel explores themes of history, linguistics, anthropology, and computer science, and is noted for its prescient vision of the metaverse and its influence on Silicon Valley innovators.
#47
• Mentioned in 185 episodes
Dune
Frank Herbert
Dune, written by Frank Herbert, is set in a feudal interstellar society where noble houses control planetary fiefs.
The story follows Paul Atreides, whose family is tasked with ruling the inhospitable desert planet Arrakis, the sole source of melange, a substance crucial for extending life and enhancing mental abilities.
The novel delves into the intricate politics, religion, ecology, and technology of this futuristic world, as various factions vie for control of Arrakis and its valuable spice.
Paul, with his unique abilities and training by the Bene Gesserit, becomes a key figure in this struggle and eventually assumes the role of a messianic leader among the native Fremen people.
Dr Kirk answers leftover questions from the 17th Anniversary Live Show survey.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.
00:00 What therapy is best for Borderline?
04:42 How can I address my own toxic behavior?
07:18 Drawing boundaries with in-laws
08:55 Thoughts on relationship OCD
11:45 How can schools pick a competent therapist?
18:44 What is the best approach when a friend self diagnoses?
27:39 Dr. Kirk's experience with roller coasters
31:45 Who is Dr. Kirk's favorite 'villain' in psychology?
32:10 How does Berto have so many jobs?
32:36 How can you support a toddler during a tantrum?
36:40 Christopher Palmer's Metabolic Mind
37:06 What can help young adults transition into adulthood?
41:28 Should I be concerned that my neighbor is a sex offender?
44:47 Is CIMBS therapy helpful for attachment trauma?
45:13 "There is always a logic for how weird your spouse is"
46:15 Going through nurse burnout
49:02 What pets does Dr. Kirk have?
49:47 How can you help a partner express their emotions during a hard time?
52:24 Does Dr. Kirk extrapolate psychology on society at large?
53:10 How can IFS help someone with Borderline?
54:33 What is the best Sci-Fi?
58:08 Should you tell someone close to you that they have NPD?
59:05 What are brain farts?
59:37 Can I trick myself into thinking that I'm younger than I am?
1:01:45 Does Dr. Kirk fear for the future of our country?
1:10:55 What are signs of emotional abuse?
1:19:29 If AI developed consciousness...
1:20:13 What is the best day Dr. Kirk ever had?
1:21:15 What would Dr. Kirk like to do in life that he hasn't yet?
1:22:41 What does Dr. Kirk do for fun?
1;23:22 What is Dr. Kirk's favorite album?
1:24:23 What deep dive does Dr. Kirk think about the most?
1:25:10 What food would Dr. Kirk eat for the rest of his life?
1:25:44 Guidance for students
1:26:04 Dr. Kirk's current favorite songs
1:30:01 What makes a good client therapist relationship?
1:30:14 Is it weird to talk about your sex life with therapists?
1:31:24 Breastfeeding
1:33:35 Do ignorant comments bother Dr. Kirk?
1:33:54 What is Dr. Kirk's dream pet?
1:34:51 What is Dr. Kirk's favorite pasta dish?
1:35:51 How do you know if someone is a good friend for you?
1:36:34 Marijuana use in mental health
1:38:18 Who misrepresents their licensure the most?
1:38:44 What genre would the podcast be?
1:39:38 Is grief a burden?
1:41:07 What is the most uncomfortable boundary Dr. Kirk has had to draw?
1:43:18 Does Dr. Kirk play MTG?
1:45:45 Do twins have super powers?
1:46:14 Did Dr. Kirk have any knowledge of Mars Hill Church?
1:47:22 How can I enter a new state of change?
1:51:35 What makes Dr. Kirk & Berto laugh?
1:52:14 Dr. Kirk & Berto's biggest fight
1:58:01 A tip for a fulfilling life
Become a member: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOUZWV1DRtHtpP2H48S7iiw/join
Become a patron: https://www.patreon.com/PsychologyInSeattle
Email: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com/contact
Website: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com
Merch: https://psychologyinseattle-shop.fourthwall.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psychologyinseattle/
Facebook Official Page: https://www.facebook.com/PsychologyInSeattle/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kirk.honda
October 22, 2025
The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®
Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.
Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although, we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.com
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.
00:00 What therapy is best for Borderline?
04:42 How can I address my own toxic behavior?
07:18 Drawing boundaries with in-laws
08:55 Thoughts on relationship OCD
11:45 How can schools pick a competent therapist?
18:44 What is the best approach when a friend self diagnoses?
27:39 Dr. Kirk's experience with roller coasters
31:45 Who is Dr. Kirk's favorite 'villain' in psychology?
32:10 How does Berto have so many jobs?
32:36 How can you support a toddler during a tantrum?
36:40 Christopher Palmer's Metabolic Mind
37:06 What can help young adults transition into adulthood?
41:28 Should I be concerned that my neighbor is a sex offender?
44:47 Is CIMBS therapy helpful for attachment trauma?
45:13 "There is always a logic for how weird your spouse is"
46:15 Going through nurse burnout
49:02 What pets does Dr. Kirk have?
49:47 How can you help a partner express their emotions during a hard time?
52:24 Does Dr. Kirk extrapolate psychology on society at large?
53:10 How can IFS help someone with Borderline?
54:33 What is the best Sci-Fi?
58:08 Should you tell someone close to you that they have NPD?
59:05 What are brain farts?
59:37 Can I trick myself into thinking that I'm younger than I am?
1:01:45 Does Dr. Kirk fear for the future of our country?
1:10:55 What are signs of emotional abuse?
1:19:29 If AI developed consciousness...
1:20:13 What is the best day Dr. Kirk ever had?
1:21:15 What would Dr. Kirk like to do in life that he hasn't yet?
1:22:41 What does Dr. Kirk do for fun?
1;23:22 What is Dr. Kirk's favorite album?
1:24:23 What deep dive does Dr. Kirk think about the most?
1:25:10 What food would Dr. Kirk eat for the rest of his life?
1:25:44 Guidance for students
1:26:04 Dr. Kirk's current favorite songs
1:30:01 What makes a good client therapist relationship?
1:30:14 Is it weird to talk about your sex life with therapists?
1:31:24 Breastfeeding
1:33:35 Do ignorant comments bother Dr. Kirk?
1:33:54 What is Dr. Kirk's dream pet?
1:34:51 What is Dr. Kirk's favorite pasta dish?
1:35:51 How do you know if someone is a good friend for you?
1:36:34 Marijuana use in mental health
1:38:18 Who misrepresents their licensure the most?
1:38:44 What genre would the podcast be?
1:39:38 Is grief a burden?
1:41:07 What is the most uncomfortable boundary Dr. Kirk has had to draw?
1:43:18 Does Dr. Kirk play MTG?
1:45:45 Do twins have super powers?
1:46:14 Did Dr. Kirk have any knowledge of Mars Hill Church?
1:47:22 How can I enter a new state of change?
1:51:35 What makes Dr. Kirk & Berto laugh?
1:52:14 Dr. Kirk & Berto's biggest fight
1:58:01 A tip for a fulfilling life
Become a member: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOUZWV1DRtHtpP2H48S7iiw/join
Become a patron: https://www.patreon.com/PsychologyInSeattle
Email: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com/contact
Website: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com
Merch: https://psychologyinseattle-shop.fourthwall.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psychologyinseattle/
Facebook Official Page: https://www.facebook.com/PsychologyInSeattle/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kirk.honda
October 22, 2025
The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®
Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.
Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although, we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.com