261. Avoiding School Shootings and the Boy Crisis | Dr. Warren Farrell

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Jun 13, 2022

Dr. Warren Farrell dives into the alarming rise of school shootings, linking it to the struggles of masculinity and family dynamics. He highlights the crucial role of engaged fathers in boys’ emotional development. The conversation contrasts maternal and paternal influences, examining how each shapes children's growth and coping mechanisms. Insight into personal stories reveals the psychological turmoil faced by young men today, underscoring the importance of understanding and empathy in addressing their challenges.

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INSIGHT

The Boy Crisis

Boys are falling behind girls academically, impacting future success.
This leads to feelings of rejection and being perceived as losers, fueling a crisis.

insights

INSIGHT

Attraction and Success

Girls are attracted to winners, creating pressure on boys to succeed.
This competitive landscape intensifies male motivation and links success with attractiveness.

insights

INSIGHT

Absent Fathers

Boys raised without fathers lack structure, purpose, and discipline, contributing to the boy crisis.
This absence correlates with vulnerabilities and anger, potentially leading to negative outcomes.

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The Crisis of Masculinity

03:44 • 16min

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The Impact of Fatherhood on Child Development

19:39 • 4min

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Understanding the School Shooter's Mind

23:41 • 7min

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The Struggles of a Young Mind: From Bullying to Fantasies

30:47 • 2min

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Navigating Masculinity in Modern Society

32:42 • 27min

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Navigating Relationships and Parenting Dynamics

59:44 • 26min

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Navigating Fatherhood and Family Dynamics

01:25:44 • 23min

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Exploring Equal Parenting and Parental Rights

01:48:46 • 3min

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The Power of Family Communication and Its Impact

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The Difference

Scott Page

In *The Difference*, Scott Page argues that progress and innovation often depend more on diverse groups capitalizing on individuality than on lone geniuses. He demonstrates how diverse perspectives outperform homogeneous groups, offering practical examples from various fields. The book highlights the benefits of leveraging diversity for better outcomes in societies and organizations.

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

John Gray

This book, written by Dr. John Gray, uses the metaphor of men being from Mars and women from Venus to explain the fundamental psychological differences between the sexes. Based on years of successful counseling, it helps couples transform their relationships by acknowledging and respecting these differences. The book provides insights into how men and women respond to stress, their communication styles, and their emotional needs, offering practical advice on how to communicate without conflicts and foster intimacy.

A Billion Wicked Thoughts

What the World's Largest Experiment Reveals about Human Desire

Sai Gaddam

Ogi Ogas

In this book, neuroscientists Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam analyze a vast amount of online data, including web searches, erotic stories, videos, and personal ads, to understand human sexual behavior. Their research highlights the differences between male and female sexual cues, with men's brains resembling a 'reckless hunter' and women's brains acting like a 'cautious detective agency. ' The book provides insights into why men are attracted to images and why women's desires are harder to predict, offering a revolutionary understanding of human sexuality similar to Alfred Kinsey's work in the 1950s.

Why men are the way they are

Warren Farrell

In 'Why Men Are the Way They Are,' Warren Farrell examines the nature and attitudes of men, discussing how societal expectations and media influence their behavior. He argues that both men and women have divergent fantasies and realities, which are often exploited by media and societal norms. The book aims to explain men to both women and men themselves, highlighting the need for mutual understanding and growth in relationships.

Why Men Earn More

Warren Farrell

In 'Why Men Earn More', Warren Farrell presents a comprehensive argument that the pay gap between men and women is largely due to different lifestyle and career choices rather than systemic discrimination. He identifies 25 factors that contribute to higher earnings, such as choosing more hazardous jobs or working longer hours, and suggests that women can increase their earnings by making similar choices. The book challenges conventional feminist views on the pay gap and offers practical advice for women seeking higher pay.

The Power of Myth

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Bullying: What We Know and What We Can Do About It

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Dr. Warren Farrell is a political scientist, activist, speaker, and author of The Boy Crisis. He has been interviewed by Oprah, Barbara Walters, Tucker Carlson, Peter Jennings, and many others. Dr. Farrell conducts communication workshops, and his writings have been frequently featured in The New York Times.

In this episode, Dr. Farrell and I discuss issues that lead to mass homicides committed by young men. We also talk about child-rearing and boundary enforcement, discriminating between male competence and male power compulsion, and the importance of recognizing and rewarding a father’s contributions to their children’s development. Dr. Farrell and I also share a personal message to anyone who may be harboring vengeful fantasies.

—Links—

The Boys Crisis - https://warrenfarrell.com/product/the-boy-crisis/

Follow Dr. Farrell on Twitter: https://twitter.com/drwarrenfarrell

Website: https://warrenfarrell.com

Couples’ communication course: https://warrenfarrell.com/couples-communication/

More books by Dr. Farrell: https://amazon.com/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3AWarren+Farrell+Ph.D.&s=relevancerank&language=es&text=Warren+Farrell+Ph.D.&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1

—Chapters—

[0:00] Intro

[2:51] The Boy Crisis & Mass Shootings

[8:57] A Lack of Father Figures

[9:29] Differences Between Mothers, Fathers, & Boundary Enforcement

[13:42] Why Family Dinners Matter

[15:43] Frans de Waal, Chimp Behavior, & the Human Moral Ethos

[18:45] Why Involved Fathers Matter

[22:59] Psychology of School Shooters

[25:41] Dr. Farrell’s Similarities with the Uvalde Shooter

[33:25] Effects of ‘Toxic Masculinity’ & ‘Male Privilege’ on Young Men

[37:03] Male Competence vs. Male Power Compulsion

[42:15] Saying ‘No’ & Expecting Girls to Share Rejection-Risks

[44:49] Crumb & Psychopathological Fantasies

[47:00] Conflicting Emotions & Motivations

[49:22] “A Billion Wicked Thoughts”

[53:58] “When only one sex wins, both lose”

[54:12] On Feminism

[57:36] Empathy, Facades, & Male Vulnerability

[1:03:51] Why Play Matters

[1:12:33] Teasing, Bullying, & Resilience

[1:17:32] Rewarding Dads

[1:20:36] Appreciation Training

[1:24:07] Character Development

[1:29:07] Status, Negotiation, & Reconciliation

[1:33:34] Opponent Processing & Handling Criticism

[1:43:46] Words for Anyone Harboring Vengeful Fantasies

[1:46:51] Setting Families Up for Success

#Masculinity #MassShootings #Communication #Men #Uvalde

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