Conversations with Dr. Jennifer We Need to Talk About Pornography
Oct 14, 2025
Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, a clinical psychologist specializing in sexuality and relationships, joins Lauren Yarrow to tackle the often taboo topic of pornography. They discuss how fear-based teachings contribute to sexual shame and conflict in relationships. Dr. Finlayson-Fife emphasizes that pornography is a symptom of deeper issues rather than a sole cause of problems. She advocates for open discussions about desire and offers insights on how to respond to children and partners regarding porn use, ultimately promoting honesty and intimacy.
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Fear-Based Sexual Messaging Backfires
- Framing sexuality with fear creates repression or obsession and divides the self.
- This contradiction harms intimacy and the ability to come to peace with our embodied sexuality.
Porn As A Symptom, Not Always The Cause
- Pornography is often a symptom of anxiety, low self-esteem, or unmet needs rather than the root cause.
- Ubiquitous, immediate gratifications make porn a tempting relief from discomfort.
Normalize Desire While Teaching Choices
- Normalize sexual desire with children while teaching that choices matter.
- Use the idea of wanting a meaningful life as the motivator rather than shame or fear.
