How To Better Navigate Unexpected & Undesired Change w/ Cognitive Scientist Maya Shankar

Jan 12, 2026

Maya Shankar, a cognitive scientist and author, discusses the psychology behind navigating unexpected change. She highlights how our anxiety around uncertainty often robs us of joy and fulfillment. Maya shares insights on the 'anvil drop' changes that dramatically reshape our lives and emphasizes the importance of holding identity flexibly. The conversation explores adapting to change, the significance of understanding our 'why,' and even how witnessing moral excellence can expand our horizons. Maya provides tools to help build resilience and embrace the journey of transformation.

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INSIGHT

Illusion Of Control And Affective Forecasting

Unexpected change shatters our illusion of control and spikes uncertainty in ways we mispredict.
We are poor affective forecasters who overestimate how we'll feel about future events.

ADVICE

Approach Change With Humility

Approach changes with humility because you can't perfectly predict how you'll respond.
Ask questions and use tools to shape a realistic path forward rather than banking on forecasts.

ANECDOTE

Amnesia Revealed A New Identity

Ingrid developed amnesia after a biking accident and rediscovered pride in her Colombian heritage.
When memories of shame returned, she kept the new, unburdened perspective and changed how she related to her identity.

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I experience our culture growing more and more fearful of unexpected and undesired change. If you were to look back on your life and make a list of all the unexpected and undesired changes you have experienced in your life, I bet it’s fairly long. I would ask you to consider why you think many more unexpected and undesired changes aren’t ahead of you. But what I see is that when you have anxiety about the possible, and I’d say probable changes ahead of you, you are taking away from your ability to have joy and fulfillment today. I find myself looking at two perspectives. One, none of the unexpected and undesired changes in my past have killed me. They haven’t ruined me. And two, I amaze myself to think of how many of those unexpected and undesired changes actually turned out to be great, great gifts to my life. To unpack the psychology around change, in this episode I have Maya Shankar back on the podcast. I first had Maya on for the launch of her podcast, A Slight Change of Plans, which Apple awarded as the Best Show of the Year 2021. After four years of the podcast, Maya has now culminated her findings and experience in a book, The Other Side Of Change: Who We Become When Life Makes Other Plans. Maya says, "I’ve written this for anyone who is currently in the choppy waters of a change, is trying to make sense of a past change, or is anxious about a future change." Maya is a cognitive scientist and was a Senior Advisor in the Obama White House, where she founded and served as Chair of the White House Behavioral Science Team. She also served as the first Behavioral Science Advisor to the United Nations. Maya has a postdoctoral fellowship in cognitive neuroscience from Stanford, a Ph.D. in cognitive psychology from Oxford on a Rhodes Scholarship, and a B.A. from Yale. She's been profiled by The New Yorker and been the featured guest on NPR's All Things Considered, Freakonomics, and Hidden Brain. All that to say, she knows the psychology behind change and is here to help us, help ourselves.

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