119 - Deconstruction & Marriage w/ Hillary McBride
May 24, 2018
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Hillary McBride, marriage and relationship expert, discusses the challenges of deconstruction in relationships, finding a therapist that aligns with your preferred style, and future plans for intimate retreats focused on embodiment and spiritual trauma.
Sameness does not define a strong relationship; finding new ways to connect can create a deeper bond.
Avoid evangelizing your newfound beliefs; create an open and supportive environment for discussion.
Embrace differences and find new shared interests to build a stronger bond.
Honor and respect each other's personal journeys; view belief evolution as an opportunity for growth and connection.
Deep dives
The Importance of Finding Common Ground
In marriage, the feeling of sameness and shared beliefs can be a strong bond. However, when one partner begins to deconstruct their faith or beliefs, it can threaten the foundation of the relationship. It's important to remember that sameness does not necessarily define a strong relationship. Instead, finding new and different ways to connect and bond can create a deeper and more lasting connection. This requires open communication, empathy, and an understanding that beliefs can evolve and change over time.
Navigating Differences without Evangelizing
When one partner is going through a deconstruction process while the other maintains their beliefs, it's important to avoid pushing or evangelizing your newfound beliefs onto your partner. Instead, focus on creating an open and supportive environment where both partners can freely express their thoughts and beliefs without judgment or pressure. It's crucial to respect each other's autonomy and allow for individual growth and exploration.
Embracing Differences and Building a New Shared Identity
As beliefs and perspectives shift within a relationship, it's important to embrace these differences and find new ways of connecting and building a shared identity. This can involve exploring new shared interests, values, and goals outside of religious or belief systems. By focusing on what unites the couple, rather than what divides them, they can create a stronger and more resilient bond founded on mutual respect and support.
Honoring Personal Journeys and the Evolution of Beliefs
Throughout the deconstruction process, it's crucial for both partners to honor and respect each other's personal journeys. Recognize that beliefs can evolve and change over time, and that this does not necessarily mean the end of the relationship. Instead, view this process as an opportunity for personal growth and the chance to deepen the connection through mutual understanding, empathy, and acceptance.
The Importance of Open Dialogue and Mutual Respect in Marriage
In this podcast episode, the hosts discuss the importance of open dialogue and mutual respect in marriage. They highlight the need for couples to embrace their differences and find common ground, even when it comes to topics such as politics and religion. They emphasize the importance of understanding that disagreements with parents or extended family members do not necessarily mean they are bad, but rather human and imperfect. The episode also touches upon the significance of creating an environment where children can express their thoughts and feelings freely, without fear of judgment or condemnation. The hosts suggest engaging in open conversations, exploring different perspectives, and nurturing a sense of belonging and understanding within the family unit.
Challenging Assumptions and Bridging Divides in Interfaith Conversations
Another key theme discussed in the podcast episode is the importance of challenging assumptions and bridging divides in interfaith conversations. The hosts emphasize that it is okay to question and disagree with the faith or beliefs of one's parents or extended family. They encourage individuals to have open and respectful dialogues about their differing perspectives, focusing on areas of commonality and mutual understanding. The episode highlights the need for parents to support their children's exploration and individuality, recognizing that personal growth and change are natural parts of life. The hosts also discuss the significance of setting healthy boundaries when faced with aggressive or disrespectful behavior, and the importance of seeking therapy or counseling when necessary to foster healing and reconciliation.
Navigating Different Belief Systems in Marriage and Extended Family
The podcast episode delves into the complexities of navigating different belief systems in marriage and extended family dynamics. The hosts share insights and suggestions for couples struggling with the challenge of reconciling contrasting faiths or ideologies. They emphasize the importance of finding common ground, agreeing upon certain ideas or values, and communicating openly about one's beliefs and convictions. The episode also highlights the significance of respecting and understanding each other's backgrounds and recognizing that people can evolve and change over time. The hosts encourage couples to seek therapy or counseling if needed to facilitate healthy communication, repair fractured relationships, and support personal and collective growth.
