Amanda Doyle: When Fixing Isn’t Loving

Some people become the ones others depend on. They organize the plans, remember the details, carry the weight. They know how to fix things—quietly, efficiently, lovingly. That kind of strength can shape a whole life. Until it begins to hollow something out.

Amanda Doyle has spent much of her life being that person. In this conversation, she joins Kate to talk about what happens when helping becomes a way to stay in control, when strength hides tenderness, and when receiving love might be the bravest thing we do. She shares her experience of parenting a neurodivergent child, walking through a breast cancer diagnosis, and learning to see herself as worthy of the care she so freely gives to others.

This episode is about the ache of being the strong one—and the grace of letting that go, just a little.

In this episode, Amanda and Kate discuss:

• How a lifelong habit of fixing became both a strength and a struggle
• The quiet, radical act of letting people show up for you
• What Amanda wishes more people knew about dense breast tissue and early cancer detection
• The power of being seen—even before you have it all figured out

If you liked this episode, you might also like: 

• Kate’s conversation with Amanda’s sister, Glennon Doyle, “The Love Bridge”
• Gary Haugen, “Joy is the Oxygen”
• Father Greg Boyle, “Unshakable Goodness”

Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here or visiting katebowler.com/podcasts.

Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler. Links to social pages and more available at linktr.ee/katecbowler.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.