Building Tribe — How to Create and Sustain Communities of Men
May 13, 2025
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Frank Schwartz, CEO of F3, discusses the pressing issue of male loneliness and the challenges men face in forming communities. He delves into the psychology behind resistance to group participation and the pitfalls of idealizing community. Schwartz emphasizes the unique leadership approach required for decentralized groups and the value of allowing men to make their own choices. He shares insights on cultivating patience as a leader and redefining success by focusing on personal growth and mission rather than numerical outcomes.
Men often hesitate to join communities due to societal pressures and idealized expectations, highlighting the need for authentic connections.
Decentralized leadership, as practiced by F3, empowers men to lead and make decisions, fostering personal responsibility within the community.
Success in community organizations is measured by personal transformations and quality experiences rather than mere numerical growth.
Deep dives
The Value of E-Commerce Tools
The importance of having the right e-commerce tools for business success is discussed, particularly highlighting Shopify as a powerful platform. Shopify has been utilized from the beginning for managing the Art of Manliness store, simplifying the processes of order management and inventory. Its extensive features, including design templates and AI tools, make it accessible for both established companies and startups alike. A significant portion of U.S. e-commerce, about 10%, is powered by Shopify, showcasing its widespread acceptance in the e-commerce world.
Overcoming Barriers to Male Community
The challenges that men face in building and maintaining communities are explored, highlighting a resistance to joining groups due to societal pressures and personal fears. The discussion addresses the concept of the 'wish dream' of community, where idealized perceptions cause discouragement when reality falls short. Frank Schwartz, the CEO of F3, emphasizes understanding these barriers and recognizing the significance of authentic connections among men. The idea is to encourage men to embrace imperfections in community, making it easier to engage rather than shy away.
Decentralized Leadership and Its Impact
F3 operates under a decentralized leadership structure that empowers each participant to lead rather than relying on a central authority. This model encourages personal responsibility and fosters stronger community leadership, as men learn to embrace decision-making within the group. By letting go of strict hierarchies, F3 creates an environment where men can develop their leadership skills organically through shared experiences. This approach not only enhances individual growth but also strengthens the overall community as members take initiative.
Measuring Success in Community Groups
Success in community organizations, such as F3, is defined not just by growth but by the quality of experiences and the impact on individuals' lives. The focus should be on personal transformations, such as improved mental and physical health, rather than merely tracking numbers. Anecdotal evidence of individual success stories signifies a thriving community that adheres to its mission of fostering leadership and connection among men. The conversation promotes the idea that real success involves wearing oneself out in service of a greater mission rather than seeking personal accolades.
The Role of Patience in Leadership
Cultivating patience as a leader in community groups is emphasized as essential for long-term growth and sustainability. Effective leadership requires understanding that progress often unfolds slowly, and creating optimal environments is crucial for allowing personal growth. Leaders must remember that success is not solely defined by immediate results but rather by the continuing journey of development within the group. Recognizing the infinite nature of growth can help leaders maintain their perspective and commit to supporting others through tolerating the messy parts of community dynamics.
Community is one of life's most valuable but increasingly scarce resources. While we hear about a supposed epidemic of male loneliness, many men still resist joining groups or struggle to maintain involvement after initial enthusiasm wanes.
Today on the show, Frank Schwartz will help us understand the barriers to building male community and how to overcome them. Frank is the CEO of F3, a free, all-volunteer men's leadership organization that uses workouts to bring men together and supports hundreds of decentralized chapters worldwide.
In the first half of our conversation, Frank explains the psychology behind men's hesitation to join groups, how to navigate the "wish dream" of idealized community, and why expecting perfection kills participation. We then discuss what makes leadership in a decentralized group different from traditional hierarchies, the importance of embracing messiness, and why allowing men to make their own decisions creates stronger leaders than giving them a rulebook to follow. We end our conversation with Frank's perspective on cultivating patience as a leader and how to measure success when building a community of men.
