In this engaging discussion, Charles Duhigg, a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and author of "The Power of Habit," joins Lisa Bilyeu to tackle high-stakes communication for women facing dismissive interactions. They explore the two types of offenders, discuss handling gaslighting with vulnerability, and highlight the importance of setting boundaries. Charles shares practical strategies for asserting needs and fostering genuine connections. Listeners learn how to confidently navigate conversations, reclaim their power, and embrace open discussions in relationships.
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volunteer_activism ADVICE
Handle Dismissal With Vulnerability
When someone dismisses or insults you unintentionally, express how their words made you feel instead of attacking them.
If they are deliberately disrespectful, the best response is to walk away and protect your peace.
insights INSIGHT
Walking Away Is Standing Up
Walking away from a toxic conversation is an act of standing up and holding your ground.
Power lies in choosing not to engage and showing you care little about their opinion.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Pause Before Responding
If overwhelmed in a conflict, pause and take 10 seconds before responding.
Use that time to decide what you want to achieve from the conversation.
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In this book, Charles Duhigg explores the secrets of 'supercommunicators' who excel at connecting with others. He delves into the three distinct types of conversations—practical, emotional, and social—and provides practical strategies and case studies to illustrate how to recognize and navigate these conversations effectively. The book includes examples from various contexts, such as jury deliberations, CIA recruitments, and workplace interactions, to demonstrate how communication can be improved. Duhigg emphasizes the importance of active listening, identifying complex emotions, and matching the type of conversation to enhance connection and understanding.
Lisa Bilyeu sits down with Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and best-selling author Charles Duhigg, known for "The Power of Habit" and his latest book, "Super Communicators." Charles joins Lisa to unpack the art of high-stakes communication—especially for women who face belittling, dismissive, or outright toxic interactions. Drawing from expert research and practical tools, Charles equips listeners with real-world strategies to confidently respond to disrespect, set boundaries, and reclaim their conversational power.
Lisa and Charles dissect scenarios every woman has faced: being dismissed with demeaning remarks or told to “smile more.” They break down the nuances between well-intended but clumsy comments and those intended to hurt, and dive into how to respond with strength and grace in both cases.
SHOWNOTES 01:03 The Two Types of Offenders: Ignorance vs. Malice 10:09 The Three H’s: Helped, Hugged, or Heard 17:21 Vulnerability as Strength in Conversation 24:55 The Three Types of Conversations: Practical, Emotional, Social
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