If Books Could Kill

How To Win Friends And Influence People

179 snips
Oct 2, 2025
The hosts dive into the self-help phenomenon created by Dale Carnegie. They discuss his unique seminar hustle and the core principles of effective communication, like offering genuine appreciation and arousing others' interests. Critiques emerge around Carnegie’s transactional listening tactics and the insecurities that shaped his advice. Anecdotes reveal the impact of passive-aggressive tactics, while they explore the historical context of his teachings, including the controversial legacy of his approaches to relationships and communication.
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ANECDOTE

Seminar-Style Self-Promotion

  • Carnegie begins the book with long testimonials and seminar-style self-promotion that hint at grift.
  • He frames his course as essential wisdom not taught in schools to sell readers on attending.
INSIGHT

Core Social Principle

  • Dale Carnegie's core message is simple: avoid criticism and give sincere appreciation to motivate people.
  • His principles target social skills needed by new middle managers in the 1930s knowledge-economy shift.
ADVICE

Give Sincere Appreciation

  • Give honest, specific appreciation rather than empty flattery to motivate others.
  • Think about others' strengths and tell them what you genuinely value.
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