PsycHacks Episode 565: As little as possible (why men need to do the bare minimum)
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Oct 27, 2025 This discussion delves into why men might benefit from doing the bare minimum in the early stages of dating. Over-investing too soon can create unrealistic expectations. By starting small, men can maintain flexibility while identifying women who are genuinely interested rather than those after benefits. The conversation compares dating dynamics to employment, emphasizing a reward system that incentivizes positive behavior. It's a thought-provoking look at modern courtship and relationship psychology.
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Early Effort Becomes The Baseline
- You can never move backwards with women; early effort becomes the baseline for future expectations.
- Starting high creates a logistically impossible standard that's hard or impossible to sustain.
Gratitude Doesn't Sustain Relationships
- Relationships rarely persist out of gratitude; people often stay because of guilt for leaving someone who sacrificed for them.
- A relationship held together by guilt is not worth trying to preserve indefinitely.
Reward Behavior With Better Treatment
- Establish a reinforcement protocol: reward better behavior with better treatment to incentivize continuity.
- Start small so you can escalate rewards as the other person consistently shows up.
