#1221 - My 3 Year Old is Destroying the House!

Justin and Kylie respond to a heartfelt question from a mum who’s at her wit’s end with her highly creative—but very destructive—three-year-old. From nail polish on couches to crayon art on every surface, they explore what’s developmentally normal, why punishment may backfire, and how parents can redirect energy with connection, supervision, and playful problem-solving.

KEY POINTS:

• Destructive behaviour in young children is often a sign of creativity and a desire to explore.

• Supervision and engagement are key to reducing mischief.

• Each child is different; parenting approaches should adapt to each child’s needs and the family’s season of life.

• Redirection and empathy are more effective than blame and punishment.

• Quality time and creating opportunities for appropriate creative expression can help children feel seen and understood.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
“Kids don’t lie the way adults do—they tell us what they wish the truth was.”

KEY INSIGHTS FOR PARENTS:

• Your child is not bad. They’re curious, creative, and still learning.

• Meet big messes with calm, not shame. Use redirection to teach without damaging trust.

• Invite cooperation by focusing on problem-solving together rather than punishment.

• Blaming doesn’t teach responsibility—connection does.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• I’ll Do Better Tomorrow, I Promise by Maurine Reynolds Adamek

• “Lessons Learned” Substack by Beck Delahoy—Blame and Shame Doesn’t Solve Anything

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

1. Create safe, designated spaces for creative play—paper, washable markers, etc.

2. Increase supervision during high-risk moments (e.g., when things go quiet!).

3. Spend intentional quality time daily, even in short bursts.

4. Use imaginative redirection—like the “wicked mouse” approach—to encourage responsibility without shame.

5. Clean up with your child, not as punishment, but as a shared problem-solving opportunity.

6. Reflect on whether expectations are realistic for your child’s developmental stage.

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