How to Have the Best Sex of Your Life: Surprising Ways to Make Sex Better Even if You Are Tired, Single… or Not in the Mood
Oct 19, 2023
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Dr. Emily Morse, a leading sex expert with a PhD in human sexuality and host of "Sex with Emily," shares eye-opening insights on enhancing sexual pleasure. She discusses the surprising myths around sex, including why self-knowledge and solo intimacy are crucial. Get ready to discover three unexpected killers of your sex drive and the importance of communication in relationships. Dr. Emily also emphasizes that you’re not alone in your sexual journey, and offers practical tips to prioritize pleasure and connection, even amidst life's challenges.
Masturbation is a crucial aspect of sexual health and pleasure, allowing individuals to explore their own bodies and communicate their needs to partners.
Focusing on the five pillars of sexual intelligence (embodiment, health, collaboration, self-acceptance, and self-knowledge) enhances sexual well-being and pleasure.
Open and honest communication, addressing past trauma, and embracing personal desires are essential for enhancing sexual pleasure and creating fulfilling experiences.
Deep dives
The Importance of Solo Sex and Self-Acceptance in a Healthy Sex Life
Solo sex, or masturbation, is a crucial aspect of sexual health and pleasure. It allows individuals to explore their own bodies and discover what feels good to them. By engaging in solo sex, people can become more aware of their own desires and communicate their needs to their partners. It is important to let go of any shame or judgment surrounding masturbation and to view it as a normal and healthy part of sexual expression. Understanding and accepting one's own body is also key to experiencing pleasure and maintaining a satisfying sex life.
The Five Pillars of Sexual Intelligence
Sexual intelligence encompasses various aspects that contribute to a fulfilling sex life. The five pillars of sexual intelligence include embodiment, health, collaboration, self-acceptance, and self-knowledge. Each pillar plays a significant role in sexual well-being and pleasure. By focusing on these pillars, individuals can enhance their connection with their own bodies, understand their unique desires and turn-ons, and effectively communicate with their partners about their needs and boundaries.
Overcoming Inhibitions and Increasing Intimacy
Overcoming inhibitions around sex and increasing intimacy can be achieved through open communication, creating a comfortable and non-judgmental environment, and exploring new experiences together. It is important to have conversations with your partner about your desires and boundaries, as well as to be receptive to their needs and preferences. By focusing on breathwork, mindfulness, and embracing your feminine or masculine energy, you can create a deeper connection and increase the level of pleasure and satisfaction in your sexual experiences.
Understanding Orgasms and Sexual Energy
Orgasms are the peak of sexual pleasure and involve a release of tension and pleasure in the body. It is important to understand that orgasms can vary in intensity and are not the sole focus of sexual experiences. Sexual energy is a vital component of desire and arousal. By exploring breathwork, engaging the senses, and cultivating sexual energy, individuals can enhance their connection with their own bodies and their partners, making way for more pleasurable and fulfilling sexual experiences.
Improving Communication in Your Sex Life
One key point discussed in the podcast is the importance of communication in enhancing your sex life. The speaker emphasizes that open and honest conversations with your partner about your desires, needs, and boundaries can lead to more pleasure and a stronger connection. They suggest using techniques like the compliments sandwich, where you start with positive feedback and then express your request or desire, followed by listening to your partner's response. This approach can help navigate difficult conversations about preferences and expectations.
Understanding Core Desires and Overcoming Trauma
Another important topic discussed is the concept of core desires and the impact of past trauma on sexual pleasure. The speaker explains that core desires are the emotions we seek during sex, which can be influenced by experiences from our childhood. They highlight the significance of acknowledging and addressing unresolved trauma, recommending therapy like EMDR for healing. Additionally, they suggest identifying and challenging limiting beliefs around sex to embrace personal desires and pleasure. By understanding core desires and addressing trauma, individuals can create a more fulfilling and pleasurable sexual experience.
In this episode, you are going to learn how to have better sex. You have an appointment with a leading sex expert, Dr. Emily Morse. I will be the first to admit that I want to have better sex, but I don’t know how to achieve it.
And I’m asking all the uncomfortable questions you want to ask.
This conversation is going to make you think differently about this topic and inspire you to prioritize pleasure and connection in bed, no matter your age, relationship status, or gender.
And if you are saying, “This doesn’t apply to me,” or as my friend just said, “I’m in way worse than a drought! At this point, I’m a born-again virgin."
No, you’re not. And this episode is for you too, because our expert says improving your solo sex life is the first step.
You may not want your little ones to listen because, when it comes to confessions about sex, I'm going first.
Dr. Emily claims that everything you have been taught or observed about sex is WRONG.
Wait. WHAT??...
Dr. Emily is insightful, and this conversation is hilarious and actionable.
You will learn:
The 3 unexpected ways you are killing your sex drive.
How to get out of your head when you’re in bed.
Why meditation and sex might be the combo you need to orgasm.
You are NOT alone if you cannot orgasm from penetration.
How to tell time with your vulva (yes, it is a thing).
Masturbation without shame and secrecy.
Why skipping foreplay is ruining your chance of having great sex.
The 5 ways your self-awareness ignites hot and steamy sex.
Let’s stop faking orgasms. Know the four steps to how you can really get there.
Grab your mirrors and vibrators, and leave your inhibitions and embarrassment at the door. And according to our expert, it’s amazing foreplay to talk about sex. So why don't you and your partner listen to this together? You’ll thank me later.
Maybe we’ll call these sex episodes “Listen and Lube”?
Xo, Mel
In this episode:
2:40: Great sex starts here first.
5:20: Can you relate with these sex questions from our listeners?
9:00: The 3 elements that kill our desire to connect.
10:20: My ‘killer’ sex life right now, in the raw.
13:25: What partner are you?
17:30: Let’s unpack our lady parts. What exactly is a vulva?
20:20: One big reason why we are all being disserviced as young adults.
24:00: I love the empowering name Dr. Emily gives for masturbation.
24:30: The 3 reasons not to wait for someone else to give you pleasure.
28:00: It wasn’t until I got this from my friends that I learned to masturbate.
30:25: There are thousands more nerve endings in a clitoris than we thought!
33:00: Why are women so uncomfortable about asking for what we need?
35:30: The 3 T’s you need to start an awkward conversation with your partner.
37:40: Never talk about sex in this room.
38:40: Be prepared that your first awkward conversation will go this way.
43:05: 5 Pillars for having great sex.
46:06: Do this exercise with your partner to feel more relaxed and in control.
48:25: A technique to do on your own during sex to make you more present.
49:55: What happens in your body when you orgasm?
50:38: Is it healthy to have multiple orgasms?
52:55: What to do when you’re in a relationship that has become just friendly.
55:10: Learn to do this to increase your chances of having an orgasm.
57:00: How can vulva owners ask for what they need sexually?
59:20: It often takes between 20-40 minutes for this to happen.
1:01:40: How many times a week should we be having sex?
1:04:30: What to do when you’ve not had sex for a long time.
1:06:35: How is your current sex life tied to your childhood needs?
1:07:40: The difference between fantasy and fetish.
1:11:05: Jumping back into dating after divorce from 30 years of marriage.
1:11:58: Becoming intimate again after getting sober.
1:12:55: Why can’t I handle the intensity of pleasure?
1:13:45: How to have healthy intimacy when you’ve experienced trauma.
1:16:53: See a pelvic floor therapist if this happens when you have sex.
1:17:46: Is it possible for women to have sex and not get attached emotionally?
1:20:45: What is the “Yes-No-Maybe List”?
1:21:15: 5 steps to having the best sex of your life.
