Shandy Welch, an executive leadership coach renowned for humanizing leadership, joins the discussion to tackle the challenges of speaking with intimidating figures. She highlights that nervousness is a sign you care and reframes it as excitement. Preparation is crucial; knowing your material allows for seamless improvisation. Emphasizing empathy, Shandy urges listeners to acknowledge the humanity in interactions and to view conversations as opportunities to help others. Overall, she inspires confidence in overcoming intimidation and fostering genuine connections.
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Quick takeaways
Reframing nervousness as excitement can transform intimidating interactions, allowing leaders to engage more authentically and effectively.
Shifting focus from personal fears to a mindset of service enhances the dynamic of conversations, fostering compassion and connection.
Deep dives
Interacting with Intimidating Figures
Leaders often find themselves in intimidating conversations, creating anxiety during interactions with those they perceive as powerful or influential. The discussion emphasizes that this intimidation is a common experience, particularly in leadership roles, and highlights the importance of developing a skillset to navigate these situations effectively. A personal anecdote illustrates the power of taking a bold step to reach out, as demonstrated by one guest who initiated contact through LinkedIn, leading to a rewarding professional relationship. This example serves as a reminder that the discomfort of initiating contact can lead to valuable connections and opportunities.
Reframing Nervousness into Excitement
One key insight is the ability to transform the feeling of nervousness into excitement, which can profoundly influence interpersonal interactions. The hosts discuss how reframing nerves as a sign of caring can help individuals channel their feelings positively, allowing for more genuine and effective conversations. Strategies like visualizing nervousness as excitement and the metaphor of butterflies flying in formation serve to illustrate how mindset shifts can reduce anxiety. Adopting this perspective encourages leaders to embrace their feelings rather than succumb to them, fostering more engaging communications.
Focus on Service Over Self
Shifting focus from personal fears to a mindset of service can drastically change the dynamic of intimidating conversations. By concentrating on how one can contribute to the other party rather than fixating on personal anxieties, individuals can foster a more compassionate and connected atmosphere. This approach not only eases personal pressure but also affirms the value each person brings to the interaction. Emphasizing that conversations are opportunities for shared growth rather than evaluations allows for greater authenticity and constructive dialogue.
Preparation as a Tool for Confidence
Thorough preparation is underscored as a critical element in boosting confidence when engaging with intimidating figures. Researching background information about the other person helps to establish familiarity, dispelling some of the anxiety associated with a first meeting. The hosts reference the wisdom of jazz musician Charlie Parker, highlighting the importance of practice followed by the freedom to innovate in real-time conversations. By preparing diligently, individuals can enter discussions feeling empowered and ready to adapt, making the experience less daunting.
Shandy Welch is an executive leadership coach. Her coaching focus is around humanizing leadership and re-engaging individuals and teams to inspire change and innovation. She is also a Coaching for Leaders Fellow.
Most leaders find themselves — at least occasionally — in conversations with people who intimidate them. In this SaturdayCast, Shandy and I share what’s worked for us and how it might help you have better conversations.
Key Points
Nervousness is your friend. If you feel it, that means you care. Try to get the butterflies flying in formation.
You are there because you are the best person to be there. Full stop.
People with visibility will expect you’ve done your homework. If they’ve put something out into the world, they want you to find it.
Preparation helps you improvise. “You’ve got to learn your instrument. Then, you practice, practice, practice. And then, when you finally get up there on the bandstand, forget all that and just wail.” -Charlie Parker
Always assume there is something you can do to help out someone else. Consider their perspective and what they gain from the meeting with you.
Everybody has doubts and struggles. Remember the humanity that’s present in every interaction.
What was helpful to you from our conversation? We’d love to know. Share it with Shandy at shandywelch@gmail.com