Author and podcaster Elizabeth Day opens up about her journey through infertility and IVF, the role of exercise in self-connection, and bonding over reality TV. The conversation is filled with vulnerability, love, and a lot of chat. A must-listen episode from 'The Imperfects' podcast.
Elizabeth Day shares her fertility journey, including the emotional toll of failed treatments and the decision to stop.
Supportive friendships like Trini Woodall's advice offer solace in redefining purpose beyond societal pressures of motherhood.
After stopping fertility treatments, a newfound sense of creative freedom allows for exploration beyond traditional norms of parenthood.
The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and resilience in confronting personal insecurities amidst public scrutiny.
Deep dives
Decision to Stop Fertility Treatments and Finding Peace
After enduring 12 years of trying and failing with fertility treatments, reaching a point of near-constant emotional turmoil and stress, the decision was made to stop after an unsuccessful round of egg donation. The devastating experiences faced during these treatments, including two miscarriages and the emotional toll of failed attempts, led to a period of raw grief and confusion. Eventually, the choice to stop treatments brought a sense of relief and alignment, allowing for a shift in focus towards creative endeavors and newfound purpose.
Navigating Mental Health Challenges and Dark Times
During a difficult period in a dysfunctional marriage, facing fertility struggles, including multiple failed IVF attempts and a traumatic miscarriage, thoughts of not wanting to be here surfaced, leading to a deep sense of sadness and self-reflection. Despite grappling with dark feelings, ultimately never acting on them, the speaker highlights the importance of clinging through dark times to discover resilience and the beauty on the other side, emphasizing the value in seeking help and sharing experiences.
Supportive Friendships and Emotional Resilience
The speaker recounts the vital role of supportive friends like Trini Woodall, who offered advice to let go of the relentless pursuit of motherhood temporarily to allow for recovery. Through candid conversations and shared experiences, the speaker found solace in breaking free from societal pressures and redefining her purpose beyond becoming a mother. The power of supportive friendships and honest discussions offered a beacon of hope and understanding during a challenging time.
Embracing Creative Freedom and Life Beyond Motherhood
Following the decision to stop fertility treatments, a newfound sense of creative freedom and purpose emerged within the speaker's life, redirecting focus towards writing, performances, and exploring avenues beyond traditional motherhood. By shifting perspectives and exploring alternative narratives, the speaker began envisioning a life rich in creativity and meaningful connections, embracing new possibilities and personal growth outside the confines of societal expectations.
Reflecting on Personal Growth and Redefining Life's Purpose
Through the journey of fertility struggles, emotional challenges, and the decision to stop treatments, the speaker reflects on personal growth, resilience, and the process of redefining life's purpose beyond conventional norms. Embracing vulnerability, shared experiences, and newfound creative pursuits, a path towards self-discovery, peace, and acceptance unfolds, highlighting the transformative power of introspection, supportive relationships, and embracing life's uncertainties with courage and authenticity.
Empowerment Through Writing and Personal Time
The speaker discusses the liberating decisions made amidst struggles with infertility, highlighting the newfound ability to focus on personal growth and endeavors. By choosing to dedicate time to writing and committing to self-care through travel, the speaker embraces a sense of freedom and proactive decision-making in the absence of the constraints of parenthood.
Reframing Existential Loneliness and Building Chosen Family
Exploring fears of existential loneliness without children, the speaker finds solace in redefining the concept of family beyond biological ties. Emphasizing the importance of relationships and friendships as foundational for personal fulfillment, the speaker acknowledges the role of chosen family members, including godchildren and close friends, in providing support and companionship.
Navigating Self-Identity and Coping with External Criticism
Reflecting on challenges of public scrutiny and self-doubt, the speaker shares insights drawn from reality TV and relationships to confront personal insecurities. Embracing the multifaceted nature of self-expression, the speaker finds empowerment in being authentically vulnerable and resilient to external opinions, fostering a sense of self-acceptance and personal growth.
We’re not sure if podcasts can date. But if they could we would want to date Elizabeth Day’s podcast - ‘How to fail?’. (A proposition Hugh awkwardly put to Elizabeth in the final moments of the show).
This conversation covers a lot of ground. Elizabeth vulnerably discusses her journey through infertility, IVF and her eventual decision to stop fertility treatment; we explore the role exercise and strength training can have in reclaiming one's connection to their body; Ryan and Elizabeth bond over a love of reality TV; and there’s much much more.
It’s fair to say there was a lot of chat and a lot of love in the room for this one.
Elizabeth Day is a Journalist, podcaster and author. The podcast ‘How to fail’ is a brilliant (and wildly successful…ironically) pod that shares intimate conversations with guests about their experiences with failure. And we couldn't recommend it any more highly.
You can find links to Elizabeth’s podcast, her books and everything else she is doing here https://bit.ly/3VCnSNE.
And you can listen to our episode of The Imperfects with Pat Cummins here: https://apple.co/4eHc4zJ
This episode discusses fertility treatments, miscarriage, grief and acceptance. If these topics feel like too much for you to hear right now, please revisit this episode when you are ready.
